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    • 23 Aug 2012

      Yelp Review: Womb

      Written by TheHonestToddler

       

      OK well I was here for an extended stay. To be honest, I don’t remember even arriving LOL or how I got there (white light?) but I did enjoy myself. The first few months were amazing, the fitness center did wonders for my bod. The food was processed-fixed menu-but good. I gained 7lbs during my visit. Expect to have a roommate. Mine was off the chain (SHOUT OUT TO MY FALLEN HOMIE, PLACENTA, I MISS YOU, ESE).

      My host was nice. Complainy and rather sedentary but overall very nice. She cried a lot which was awkward for everyone. Leg room was an issue toward the end as I was practically kissing my knees but whatever. The Womb was a little short staffed…I only heard one other employee’s voice consistently. From their exchanges, I think he may have been the host’s slave or unpaid indentured servant. Hope he’s alright. I think she broke his spirit.

      I loved it so much I overstayed my reservation by two weeks. I’d definitely return if given the chance.

      Check-out was a mess.

    29 Comment on “Yelp Review: Womb”

    • Diana

      23 Aug 2012 04:08 am

      Dead. This is the best ever and I’ll never think of being pregnant the same way again.

      Reply
    • MommaBird

      23 Aug 2012 04:08 am

      Do you ever wish you could go back?

      You and your host were one, she always carried you everywhere she went

      Reply
    • Bailey

      23 Aug 2012 05:08 am

      I love this! It makes me want to be pregnant even more! I hope our baby enjoy’s their stay at The Womb as much as you did. Thanks HT

      Reply
    • mlegreenberg

      23 Aug 2012 05:08 am

      “Check-out was a mess”. LMAO!!!!

      Reply
    • Cherries

      23 Aug 2012 11:08 am

      Just BRILLIANT!! “Check out” and the “shout-out to placenta” were priceless. Love starting out my day with an LMAO. Thank you, HT! You’re amazing.

      Reply
    • abramkj

      23 Aug 2012 11:08 am

      You should really check on that indentured servant….

      Reply
    • simpleshortandsweet

      23 Aug 2012 11:08 am

      LOL “Check out was a mess.” Definitely my favorite part.

      Reply
    • Stephanie

      23 Aug 2012 12:08 pm

      I think she broke his spirit. Priceless

      Reply
    • Amelia Farquhar Sherry

      23 Aug 2012 01:08 pm

      Great review, HT! Can’t wait to hear what you think of ‘The Co-sleeper’ and ‘The Crib.’ We booked extended stays at both for our little one but she’s been very displeased. For one, the ambient sounds we’ve had piped in are too ‘artificial’ sounding …amongst other inadequacies… There’s a strict no refunds policy so I’m hoping we can work something out.

      Reply
    • Top Five 15 Minute Diversions for Tired ParentsGrand New Mom | Grand New Mom

      23 Aug 2012 02:08 pm

      [...] genius. His Twitter bio reads, “Not potty trained, not trying.” His newest post is the Yelp review of his womb. He states, “Checkout was a Mess.” Pure [...]

      Reply
    • jaclyn

      23 Aug 2012 03:08 pm

      You crack me up, the host’s slave was your dad…. you should try ordering him around!! esp whes hes half asleep :) watch him stumble LOL

      Reply
    • AprilMom75

      23 Aug 2012 03:08 pm

      I agree with Amelia. A review of the co-sleeper, and crib would be very useful. Also how about a daycare review? I understand that you operate from your home, but perhaps a colleague in anonymous toddler league (hope I am getting the name right…please forgive me) has some experience he or she can share?

      Reply
    • Stephanie

      23 Aug 2012 04:08 pm

      HT – please please please a review of your crib and/or co-sleeping would be fab.

      Reply
    • Kenja

      23 Aug 2012 08:08 pm

      I cannot believe you let the opportunity pass to say something about “womb service.” Disappointed. :)

      Reply
      1. Nomi

        23 Aug 2012 08:08 pm

        HT is a little young for puns, no?

        Reply
    • Kenja

      23 Aug 2012 08:08 pm

      Not if he knows the word “placenta.” Like, duh. :)

      Reply
    • jade

      23 Aug 2012 10:08 pm

      I agree with a previous poster…I’ll never look at pregnancy the same way again! You are just brilliant.

      Reply
    • John Evans (@Chaoseed)

      23 Aug 2012 10:08 pm

      Ow, you stretched my brain. But in a good way. ;)

      Reply
    • Deb

      24 Aug 2012 01:08 am

      Wow, this is brilliant, HT. And one of the funniest blogs I’ve come across in awhile. Thanks for clarifying what it was like for you in there.

      Reply
    • dinnerversions

      24 Aug 2012 03:08 am

      Wow, I actually truly Laughed Out Loud at this one. Brilliant.

      Reply
    • Melissa

      24 Aug 2012 01:08 pm

      Oh my word, peeing mis pantalones. This blog is I believe the only blog in the universe I subscribe to and seriously just kills me. I had to sit in a doctor’s waiting room a couple weeks ago for an hour and at times I had to put a hand over my mouth to stop from laughing outloud like an idiot.

      Reply
      1. allegedblogger

        31 Aug 2012 07:08 am

        I rarely succeed. And I’m always wiping away tears.

        Reply
    • Weekly Top 10s | 80twenty

      24 Aug 2012 03:08 pm

      [...] 5 Star Yelp review of the womb. [...]

      Reply
    • beautifulchelle

      25 Aug 2012 06:08 am

      “I think he may have been the host’s slave or unpaid indentured servant” So.Funny.
      You make my day.

      Reply
    • Am herb

      27 Aug 2012 07:08 am

      I heart you honest toddler! You complete me!

      Reply
    • Give Ah-Yi a kiss please! « Jacquie in Progress

      05 Sep 2012 09:09 pm

      [...] Yelp Review: Womb – http://thehonesttoddler.com/yelp-review-womb/ [...]

      Reply
    • Things I’m Loving Lately: September Edition | Annie's Eats

      22 Sep 2012 04:09 am

      [...] It’s so, so hard to even pick favorites but make sure you check out a couple of highlights:  Yelp Review: The Womb and, of course, Recipes (DON’T BE LAZY).  share on facebookpin itprint friendlyadd a [...]

      Reply
    • Kate

      11 Oct 2012 10:10 pm

      I love the placenta part, that was my faaaavorite!!!!!

      Reply
    • Wintery days « the ivershen blog

      28 Nov 2012 04:11 pm

      [...] Less than a month left! Hopefully. I’m starting to get the creeping feeling that I’ve got a slacker in my tummy that’s just having too much of an enjoyable time and will probably delay her ‘check-out’. (For a more detailed humorous review of The Womb click here). [...]

      Reply

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