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Dear Super Nanny,
Super? So you think you’re an action hero. And what is your power exactly? Tearing families apart?
Since your show started and like a pregnant spider exploded into countless demonic spin-offs, children around the world have been suffering from your ridiculous and terrible ideas. The fact that parents are starting sentences off with “Well, on Super Nanny…” to excuse the creation of time out spots and restrictions on big bed time only adds evidence to my claim.
You walk around with that wool cloak looking like the manager of Hogwarts. I’m not scared of you. The day you come into my home expect Armageddon because I’m going to bring it. Nanny, you don’t know my life. You don’t know my situation. Were at my birth? Are you my midwife? No. So you don’t know what I need.
Nanny there is talk on the playground. Real talk. You’re being watched.
You can’t just think you can create chore charts for people too young to even read and think you’re going to get away with it. Lots of us have systems in our homes that are working just fine. This is America, not boarding school. I don’t know how things in work in England but here across the pond we wear Crocs -plastic shoes- in broad daylight. We don’t eat crumpets; it’s cereal in dollar store tupperware all day long. And juice. Our juice is red and cold like the vengeance I’m about to unleash on you shortly after nap time today depending on how I feel.
not love,
HT
83 Comment on “Super Nanny”
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The Book is Here!
Caroline Marin
17 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
“Our juice is red and cold like the vengeance I’m about to unleash on you shortly after nap time today depending on how I feel.”
This is epic.
theskinnygirlproject
21 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
This IS epic
Joselle
17 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
you tell her!
Concerned CDE
17 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
Do you have any better advice for the train wrecks that call her in? Clearly, they need some help. Behavior modification combined with developmentally appropriate practice works well when administered under the guidance of a trained professional.
Sincerely,
Child development expert who supports structure and guidance
DataShade (@datashade)
17 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
Uh … what kind of child development expert tries to pick a fight with a toddler? You should be ashamed of yourself.
Anna
17 Aug 2012 02:08 pm
I agree. This is a satirical site. I am not sure why a child development expert is lecturing someone here. It would be as foolhardy as lecturing a satirical character in The Onion.
Arklep
17 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
Please tell me you know we’re not dealing with an actual toddler here.
DataShade (@datashade)
18 Aug 2012 09:08 am
@Arklep
August 17, 2012 at 8:50 pm
I’m not new to the internet. I’m pretty sure we’re not dealing with an actual child development expert.
Di
17 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
“Behavior modification combined with developmentally appropriate practice works well when administered under the guidance of a trained professional.” — ha ha!! you’re not trying to *convince* a toddler, are you? : )
Danielle
20 Aug 2012 06:08 am
Di, your reply made me LOL
Proud EE
17 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
Concerned CDE, when you pulled out “developmentally appropriate practice” I knew the situation just got serious. If HT’s mom had any sense she’d hand him over to an early education program to train his tail into shape. Moms act like they hate having to put their child in child care, but they love the at-home results of routine and structure. We know what we’re doing. To all the child-care-using-moms out there, you’re welcome. To all the stay-at-home moms, kuddos to you, and we’re not an enemy.
Sincerely,
An Early Educator
KimV
17 Aug 2012 09:08 pm
So true! I have been a working mom for 10 years & just quit my job. My youngest (older are school age) will be staying home with me, & although I’m thrilled & have always wanted this, I’ve been thinking of all the wonderful daycare teachers that have taught my kids so much! Will I measure up?! They really are worth more than they’re paid, & we will be visiting! LOVE our daycare, but excited about this new adventure (& possibly one more kiddo:)). We’ll see!!
asheffi1
20 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
You are so right. I am extremely grateful for what my daycare provider does to support my daughter with structure and behavioral guidelines, a la learning by watching the older kids as well.And seriously, kudos to all the stay at home moms that do it 24/7. You both deserve red capes – the long flowy super hero ones.
no_mercy2290@yahoo.com
09 Sep 2012 11:09 pm
“If HT’s mom had any sense she’d hand him over to an early education program to train his tail into shape”
That bothers me. In order to train him into shape she must hand him over to a complete stranger to basically do her job? A child care worker is a great choice for a working mother but should not be a substitute for an actual parent. Teaching children how to behave properly is part of raising your kid; if you’re sending them off to “professionals” to learn this behavior, you’re allowing someone else to raise your child. We have a serious lack of responsibility; parents are depending on everyone else to raise, teach and guide their children instead of doing it themselves. Do you know how many child care centers are sued for abuse? Not everyone who takes care of children is good to them. Sometimes their idea of training involves abusing them into submission. Several hundreds of child care facilities in Indiana or Illinois (can’t remember which) just got in trouble for hiring sex offenders! I’m a stay at home mother and the structure and guidance my children get are from me and my husband. This isn’t an insult to working mothers who depend upon child care but to say that someone who works with several children a day can care for and teach my child better than I can is a complete insult. This blog is meant to be funny and from the mind of a toddler who thinks he’s in control. Its not a parenting blog to show off or compare child rearing.
Laugh a Little
17 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
This is obviously the toddler’s thoughts on Super Nanny, not the parents’. It’s supposed to be funny. Everyone needs to calm down.
Proud EE
17 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
You obviously don’t know how to read “tongue in cheek”.
Danielle
17 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
We’re dealing with humans beings not puppies. Also permissive parenting in not the same as peaceful/gentle parenting.
kara
22 Aug 2012 10:08 am
so true!
cowboyfan1968
17 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
Fantastic!
Stephen
17 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
AHMED…*in broad daylite, not in “board daylight.”
Stephen
17 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
lollerskates…daylight not daylite.
honesttoddler
17 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
LOLLERSKATES YES!!!
Ol’mom
17 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
Dear HT, many times during the years ahead, you will encounter the humor-impaired. Pity them.
Melissa
24 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
fatmom2fitmom
17 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
“Our juice is red and cold like the vengeance I’m about to unleash on you shortly after nap time today depending on how I feel.”
Freakin’ awesome!
Proud EE
17 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
I find it amusing that people can handle the whimsy of an adult acting like a toddler (by the way, I think it’s hilarious), yet when other grown-ups use tongue in cheek humor to respond, you gasp for us to calm down. It’s like laughing that the cartoon animal can speak, but being appalled that it drives a car.
Don’t tell me your sense of humor is that restricted.
Danielle
17 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
Love this post (though I realise that it’s meant in humour)I can’t stand Super Nanny myself.
http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/supernanny.htm
Catherine
17 Aug 2012 05:08 pm
I hate Super Nanny. And I love Alfie Kohn, too!
michelleayers
17 Aug 2012 05:08 pm
exactly… i read TROLL
Jamie
17 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
The real problem with Super Nanny is that she doesn’t seek to empower the parents to make their own choices and find what works for their families. She knocks them down, belittles them, tells them how horrible they are; and then, when they are at their lowest and couldn’t feel worse, she steps in with her narcissistic super hero cape and “saves the day” by telling them exactly what to do and how to do it. Sure, we all like to think we know what other parents are doing wrong, but that doesn’t mean we tell them to their face!
Phoebe
17 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
ht I am a Montessori teacher, I work with children your age and I think you are a cool kid. I would love to have you in my class; I think you’d fit right in, we have perfect bananas you can peel and slice yourself and we have a rabbit that hops around our class.
Danielle
18 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
I love the Montesorri method!
dawnthezeta
20 Aug 2012 03:08 am
I visited a Montessori daycare and will be putting my own HT in one in October. Expensive, but so are the shoes, dresses, and handbags I used to covet. Now, I just want my boy to be super great. And I’ll wear plastics flip flops if I have to!!!!!
Danielle
20 Aug 2012 06:08 am
I totally agree with you Dawn! I figure through out my life I’ve spent so much money on …random crap, that I can sacrifice and spend money on my child’s early development.
Holly
24 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
I guess you don’t have HT on your FB feed, huh? Apparently someone was talking to his mom about this wonderful preschool and he let it be known that he and mom are just fine at home…together! lol!
Late Educator
17 Aug 2012 02:08 pm
Dear HT, just found your blog, you should rename it “Honest 37-year-old.” xoxo
Troll whopointsouttrolls
17 Aug 2012 02:08 pm
troll
jessi
17 Aug 2012 02:08 pm
???????
tara
23 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
Jessi, she is saying that the Antagonists on here are Trolls. Trolls are ppl who come into chat rooms and stir the pot in order to shut down the conversation or site. It is a game to some. Basically, don’t let them get your goat.
Suzanne @ RollWithIt
17 Aug 2012 03:08 pm
BAHAHAHAHAHAH “Not love” that’s my favourite! You tell’em HT!
Mom of a 3 yr old!
17 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
I love it!… “I don’t know how things in work in England but here across the pond we wear Crocs -plastic shoes- in broad daylight. We don’t eat crumpets; it’s cereal in dollar store tupperware all day long. And juice. Our juice is red and cold like the vengeance I’m about to unleash on you shortly after nap time today depending on how I feel.”
Preschool Princess
17 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
Dear HT, Thank you for speaking up on behalf of all of us who are just trying to get through the day without having time-out or having Mama tattle as soon as Daddy walks in the door. While I cannot personally get into a fracas (it would ruin the bow in my hair) with the Nanny, I am grateful for you who will. Stay strong HT!
Your friend,
Pippi
Amy Johnson
17 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
Concerned CDE, get a grip!
The UK has a severe bent in regards to not letting go of colonialism. Its savage taken under yoke by the Queens empire. You should see Brits in their organized tour groups in a developing former colony!
American families are doing alright. Our children are seen and heard, we are family units in organic form. And we dont produce as many bullies.
I loathe SuperNanny because it encourages bullying. Children need structure but they need adults to be good examples; do not expect children to behave better than adults.
KimV
17 Aug 2012 09:08 pm
How in the world does Super Nanny encourage bullying? So silly.
Super Nanny was my savior, for real, when my twins were toddlers. Let’s just say, my upbringing was not ideal, so I was quite lost at times during these early years (not to mention, sleep-deprived & overwhelmed). I honestly used her techniques & held on for dear life until the next episode. She kept me sane & in-check with my responsibilities. It worked!!! Now, the twins are 9 & the 2 year old ain’t got a chance!!
Danielle
18 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
Well I guess using Super Nanny techniques is better than beating your kids into submission?
KimV
18 Aug 2012 09:08 pm
Um, ok. Do you not believe children should submit to their parent’s authority?
Jenny Peckenpaugh
23 Aug 2012 12:08 am
Of course a parent has to have authority & set rules. Many of Super Nanny’s tools are helpful: our OT explained that kids need routine or basically to know ‘what to expect’ or ‘what’s going to happen’ especially at an age when they can’t read or tell time or even understand everything we say.
But I am sure that you got ideas & techniques from Super Nanny but adapted them to your kids’ ages & your family. Kids too young to read can follow a picture ‘schedule’ or chore list yet if older kids are always late for school, for example, you would sit down together & work out a schedule or checklist to fix the problem. Obviously certain things aren’t negotiable-your 8 year old can’t drop out of school, you can’t drive him so he won’t be late if you have to be at work. If a kid fights over clothes instead of dictating what she wears give her a choice of 2 or 3 acceptable outfits. I’ve heard that one for preschool-younger grades but I bet after a couple days of Mom putting together outfits a teenager will quickly decide to dress properly!
I don’t think it is Super Nanny’s tools people object to, but the WAY she does things-without a lot of regard for ‘teaching moments’ where parents might talk about WHY the family has these rules & help kids learn how to think. Or helping kids obey the rules, like giving them a 5 or 10 minute warning when they are engaged in an activity that it needs to be put away. I mean KMart tells you they are closing in 30 min, then 10 min–obviously if grown-ups need it kids do too.
so over it
17 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
OMGGG people!! I read this for a good laugh relief from my colicky baby, get over yourself with these ridiculous comments on how supernanny is or what this one commenter said…. blah blah blah, take the post for what it is…. a funny perspective from the life of a toddler
Danielle
18 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
Ermm. Maybe you should stick to reading the post only since *you’re* taking the comments way too seriously. Just saying.
Twin Momma
17 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
Since when does a toddler have a midwife?
twinkler
17 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
Satire aside, this post is leaning towards being judgemental towards other parents’ choices.
Rosa
17 Aug 2012 05:08 pm
“This is America, not boarding school. I don’t know how things in work in England but here across the pond we wear Crocs -plastic shoes- in board daylight.
maria
17 Aug 2012 06:08 pm
I can’t believe people are getting worked up over this post. Just laugh and move along. Sheesh!
Rochelle Walker
17 Aug 2012 06:08 pm
this post, like basically all of HT’s, is silly and funny and great.
not sure what the ruckus is about. it’s supposed to be from the mind of a TODDLER. the fact that we need to be reminded of this is almost funnier than the post itself.
lcat20
17 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
despite the bs thats went down with the other comments.. this post is hilarious. keep it up
.. makes me want to be a little kid again.
Lori
17 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
hahaha. “not love, HT”! You a great ab work out HT, keep em coming!
memoricprism
17 Aug 2012 09:08 pm
“Nanny there is talk on the playground. Real talk. You’re being watched.”
Oh my! It’s on.
Thank you for making me chuckle.
Honest Mommy
17 Aug 2012 11:08 pm
Love you, HT. Love. You.
Literary Tiger
17 Aug 2012 11:08 pm
Great post, HT.
Spoiled Princess (@SpoiledSummer)
17 Aug 2012 11:08 pm
HT you are my hero… love, Spoiled Princess
Holly
18 Aug 2012 12:08 am
HT, you are the best. Take it from me. I’m better than an early childhood educator – I’ve been the mommy of nine toddlers.
Stay just the same – I loooooove you!
mummymishy
18 Aug 2012 02:08 am
Just so you know, I’m with you. If she ever come to our house, we have a naughty spot for her. It has velcro. She will be forced to watch Umizumi on a loop.
Catherine Mann Davis
18 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
Oh no! Not Umizumi! That is a fate worse than death… although I would add Waybaloo to the loop for added viewing pleasure…
mummymishy
19 Aug 2012 04:08 am
Have never heard of Waybaloo, but it sounds torturous. So I’m happy to add it. Also, those creepy wonder pets…
jumeirajames
18 Aug 2012 02:08 am
You paint a great picture of America. Cereal in dollar store Tupperware?
Jenny Peckenpaugh
23 Aug 2012 12:08 am
I bought every known Sippy Cup, spoon, plate/bowl/eating device to convince my baby to eat solids & teach her to drink from anything but a bottle.
Most of it was futile, & I now have parts of 70 brands of Sippy’s [ever noticed how Nuby silicone easy grip sippy's are almost identical to Munchkin but somehow the parts don't fit each other??].
I spent $7 on ‘spill proof’ snack cups only to find that my daughter never turns them upside down & spills. No, she shoves her little hand past the no-spill collar, grabs a handful of her snack, and tosses it on the floor.
My in-laws independently discovered the same thing.
As long as it’s BPA free, a plain snack container from Dollar Tree is what my kid’s getting…now that I’ve spent her college fund on specially-designed baby-feeding crap.
Marmee March
27 Aug 2012 09:08 am
LOL! I’m with ya.
Danielle
01 Sep 2012 01:09 am
Is that a Little Women reference?
Shenanigan
18 Aug 2012 04:08 am
I’m with you Honest Toddler, no meanie nanny at our house. What’s with the no big bed and the naughty spot/step/chair? Why should I sit in that place just because she makes me. Mean, mean super nanny. pfffft
Jen (@MrsJCherry)
18 Aug 2012 08:08 am
Where’s the like button for Laugh a Little! If you don’t have a sense of humour and you can’t understand the point of view it’s written from then you really shouldn’t comment!
Another Perspective Photography
19 Aug 2012 10:08 am
oh HT, you’ve created quite a controversy with your thoughts. I do love your point of view; honest and not a bit hindered by social pressures. I wish more toddlers had your literacy skills, because if we all understood eachother, maybe we’d figure it out without reality TV.
Bella Rose
19 Aug 2012 02:08 pm
LOLOL
Tony
21 Aug 2012 05:08 am
Here’s a Super Nanny related question; we have a new product based on the “Naughty Step” method of giving children Time-Out and I’m finding that in the UK, parents are either love it or hate it. What’s the wider view?
Corrie Kolbe
22 Aug 2012 05:08 am
Bahahahaha!!! Just stumbled across Honest Toddler and am in serious love already.
Carrie
23 Aug 2012 03:08 am
WOW, ok I’ve never read such a clever blog! I can see I have a lot of catching up to do and look forward to reading ALL your previous posts! BEST of luck, great blog!
Farrah
27 Aug 2012 02:08 pm
Gangsta!
Tina
30 Aug 2012 04:08 am
I made the mistake of reading this in the office…lol lol…this is too funny
Will
05 Oct 2012 09:10 am
With respect to
“I don’t know how things in work in England but here across the pond we wear Crocs -plastic shoes- in broad daylight. We don’t eat crumpets; it’s cereal in dollar store tupperware all day long. ”
Well here in England (The land of your ancestors BTW) We do it how we feel best. What fits in with our family and daily comings and goings. Pretty much how its done stateside most of the time. Thats why all the witches are leaving and going stateside and making BAD TV. All I can do is apologise for them. Please don’t think this is how British people bring up our children. It isn’t. Its so far from reality I cant believe its made reality TV. I think you should look to making your own reality show HT. Much better than scary nannies from across the pond it would be. Keep up the blog great work. How do you keep it secret from mum? Sorry mom.
Bethany Fuson
15 Feb 2013 11:02 pm
It was funny as hell.
The so-called CDE
22 May 2013 09:05 pm
If any of you have watched a super nanny show for the entire length you will realize that she “trains” the parents way more than anything else – I’m also what is called a Child Development expert and I agree with HT wholeheartedly. There should be protests on time out and time out chairs should be burned!!!! LOL have a great day!
LONG LIVE RED JUICE AND UNBROKEN CRACKERS!!!!!!
kmc
21 Aug 2012 05:08 pm
No, the comments are. Don’t get it twisted.
twinkler
21 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
No need to get personal dear.
kirstamcpherson
21 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
My apologies, was going for funny and it came off as rude.