4:45AM Wake up. Work on my memoirs.
5AM Alert the parental units.
5:01AM Notice that no one has come. Escalate.
5:01 30 seconds Parental whispering over whose job it is to fetch me turns into a disagreement over which is harder, working inside or outside of the home.
5:02AM Hear mommy say, “I’d like to see you try it for one day.”
5:02AM 30 seconds Hear daddy say, “I didn’t sleep last night either.”
5:03AM Daddy comes in. Don’t hide my disappointment.
5:04AM Crackers and milk in between my parents as they fade in and out of fitful sleep. Giggle.
7AM Second breakfast. Eat 2 tablespoons.
9:50AM Pre-nap hysterics. Break something.
Noon Reject lunch
12:30PM Ask for lunch.
12:30PM 30 seconds Shame the woman for eating my lunch.
12:40PM-3PM Think about daddy
3:PM-5:30PM UP whilst crying
5:30PM Greet my soul mate
5:30-6PM Gleefully play
6-8PM Fight the power
8PM In bed