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Don’t be fooled by the rocks that she got in that first pic, our Honest Toddler of the Day is suffering. Yesterday I received a passive aggressive email from a mother about her two year-old child, Isobel. The tone was very familiar as I’ve grown used to it in my personal life.
I nominate Isobel for having a perpetually bad attitude…The slightest feeling of injustice will be met with wails and cries… Isobel will not stand for petty disappointments. Her family nickname is “The Hater” as she doesn’t care much for anyone except her live-in servants. Isobel eats as long as it is not green in color. When presented with a salad, roasted cauliflower and spinach pea risotto (sic), she howled, “Oh no! I can’t eat nutting!”
I wouldn’t be able to eat nutting either. In fact, if presented with a salad, roasted cauliflower and spinach pea risotto (were you all out of boiled snakes?) I’d probably expire on the spot. Bravo Isobel for using your words although in the future nobody would blame you if you just flipped the bowl. Isobel, please pass on the following websites to your caregivers:
I had a suspicion that Isobel’s problem was bigger than just terrible food and my hunch was quickly confirmed when her mother mentioned a sibling named Iris. Sibling Disease (related to Infant Sibling Disease) affects 4 in five toddlers. Symptoms include crying, throwing, breaking, the vomits, inappropriate pee pee. To raise a toddler successfully, you need to be able to give them 100% of your attention. Sibling children oftentimes don’t know their place and ruin everything.
Iris was on Isobel’s riding toy. I told her to get off. After all, she freaks when Isobel is on her tricycle. Iris ignored me. Isobel comes up behind her, hooks her arm around Iris’s neck and throws her off the bike.
The problem child, Iris, needs to be dealt with so that Isobel can have a happy life. I suggest that Isobel’s mother call around to family and friends. Let’s work together to get this ward a new home. Then the healing can start.
I reached out to Isobel directly through Skype this morning to see how felt about giving up her sister. She sent me the following photo.
Let’s hope this transition is a smooth one.
33 Comment on “Honest Toddler of the Day: Isobel”
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vitaplastica
06 Feb 2013 03:02 pm
hahah. This was awesome. Clearly we have to send Iris to boarding school. It’s the only way to give Isobel the attention she deserves.
Bella™ (@MsBellaCalamity)
06 Feb 2013 04:02 pm
That is the only solution ! Lol.
Kathy Pioli Lubbers
06 Feb 2013 03:02 pm
BRILLIANT!
vitaplastica
06 Feb 2013 04:02 pm
Um, by the way, kid, I totally spelled risotto right. I resent your “(sic)”. I expected more from you, HT.
TheHonestToddler
06 Feb 2013 04:02 pm
It’s spelled correctly but is gross so I added the (sic) just in case people thought I was making the meal up. How is Isobel today?
Tricia
06 Feb 2013 06:02 pm
Ah, so it was (sic) that was misspelled – you meant (sick)!
Danielle
06 Feb 2013 07:02 pm
Isobel is great! Now that her sister is packed off to live in an Oliver Twist-style orphanage she’s much happier. She thanks you for your advice.
Nora
06 Feb 2013 04:02 pm
Maybe it was misplaced. You wrote Pea, and perhaps HT thought you meant Pee.
Kathy Pioli Lubbers
06 Feb 2013 05:02 pm
That’s exactly what I thought. Pee risotto.
Raabster
06 Feb 2013 11:02 pm
Vitaplastica – Did you use this recipe? http://eatsdaily.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/roasted-cauliflower-and-spinach-risotto/
Looks like it would be fabulous!
MsEli34
06 Feb 2013 04:02 pm
Iris has to go. Maybe we can start a foundation to support these infants. Poor, lovely Isobel. How much disrespect can one toddler take?
crissle
06 Feb 2013 04:02 pm
to be fair, salad, roasted cauliflower and spinach pea risotto sounds pretty damn gross as an adult. i definitely would not have eaten that as a toddler.
Didi
06 Feb 2013 07:02 pm
Amen, Crissle. Amen. I read it and threw up a little in my mouth.
rin
26 Feb 2013 05:02 pm
To be fair, it’s kind of mean to tell people that their food “makes you throw up in your mouth”. Regardless of how I feel about someone else’s bacon cheeseburger or raw kale salad, I don’t really think they’re going to appreciate my telling them I think it’s disgusting. About the only thing that accomplishes is poking fun at someone else’s expense.
(And my toddler loves risotto with peas. And spinach. And cauliflower, for that matter.)
Carol
06 Feb 2013 04:02 pm
My niece does that exact same pose in the third picture. I may have to nominate her.
Mia
06 Feb 2013 05:02 pm
Hi HT, how old does a child need to be to qualify for toddler of the day? My son might be right on the borderline of stupid infant and superior toddler.
rb
13 Feb 2013 09:02 pm
This is a hilarious distinction.
Lori
06 Feb 2013 06:02 pm
Great Job HT!!!!!
Anne Kennedy
06 Feb 2013 06:02 pm
I’m pretty sure my 7-year-old grandson thinks his 5-year-old brother would be happier in an alternative placement – or that he himself would be happier if his brother were placed. But what a disgusting dinner! I wouldn’t eat that if I had to! Blech!
Camille
06 Feb 2013 08:02 pm
I’m dying….So funny!! I know of several orphanages in remote hills of Jamaica that would take Iris. Danielle let me know if I can help
I need to nominate Connor…
Sarah
06 Feb 2013 09:02 pm
Looks like a daycare in Russia!! Dying!!
Rhonda
07 Feb 2013 09:02 am
That poor, beautiful child. How she has suffered
Aubrey C Erickson
07 Feb 2013 11:02 am
Honest toddler, Avert your eyes! This is for Isobel’s mommy…. Have you read the book ” Deceptively Delicious” by Jessica Seinfield? HT, would you like spinach better covered in chocolate?
Awesomely Luvvie (@Luvvie)
07 Feb 2013 01:02 pm
Ummm… salad, roasted cauliflower and spinach pea risotto sounds like it’d taste like grass, unrealized potential and fail. Ew. I stand with Isobel. Because she’s a real G!
keisha brown
24 Apr 2013 02:04 am
LMFAO!!!
vash
09 Feb 2013 01:02 am
Isobel: awesome toddlering everyday. Twice on Sundays.
The Weary Chef
12 Feb 2013 05:02 pm
Why have I only just now found you, Honest Toddler? All parents should be notified of your existence on their child’s first birthday. Hilarious.
Sarah
18 Feb 2013 03:02 pm
I absolutely agree! Required reading for all parents of toddlers!
http://espn.com
25 Feb 2013 11:02 pm
Check out Espn, anyways.
.. I have a tendency to agree with almost everything that is put into writing in “Honest Toddler
of the Day: Isobel | The Honest Toddler”. I am grateful for
all the actual tips.Thanks for your effort-Florida
NavyDad1906
28 Feb 2013 03:02 pm
I’ll bet you any amount of money mommy and daddy arentceating veggies either. i eat fruits and veggies and now she asks for them by name, first only because everybody else was, then of vourse because eating broccoli is like eating little trees, but she legitimately loves asparagus (wait, those look like trees too…) either way, kids emulate us in every way. parents, if you want your kids to eat veggies and lose a few pounds in the process, eat more fruits and veggies.
nycpixie
07 May 2013 10:05 am
Ah! If only this was true. If your child eats veggies, it’s because they want to, not because you want them to. My 4 year old is a vegetarian despite watching us eat meat on a regular basis. While we’re consuming hamburgers, chicken breast, etc,. he is chowing down on bagels with cream cheese and pizza.
Also, while our plates hold colorful fruit salads and mixed vegetables, my son will only eat fruits and veggies that are the color orange. Except, of course, for oranges. He makes the occasional concession to the color red.
And, before you recommend that if I serve it he will get hungry eventually, trust me, he will not. What he will get is sick – at 3 am, and then not be able to eat the next day at all because he can’t stop vomiting due to low blood sugar. I would rather serve cheese (orange), ritz crackers and cantaloupe every night for the next 3 years then go through that again. By the way, he did eat everything until he was 18 months. He loved it all, chicken, salmon, and all the different fruits and vegetable placed in front of him.
I know, I know – hide it, right? I get that unwanted advice a lot, as well. Well, I would but there’s only so much you can hide in a smoothie popsicle before my son will refuse to eat it because it tastes funny. We’ve hit that tipping point before.
So, if your child will eat anything, rejoice in your freedom. Honestly, giving unasked for advice to a parent who has a toddler who is set in their stubborn ways, whether it’s eating, potty training or not sleeping, is like throwing oil on the flames of frustration. They’re probably gritting their teeth while thanking you politely for suggesting something they have already tried.
wklthiiowh
06 Mar 2013 03:03 pm
LMAO! please keep ‘em coming!
silje nisja
11 Mar 2013 06:03 am
I lost it at “were you all out of boiled snakes?”….pure genious!
My niece is 20 months old, and blissfully unaware that she will be struck down with a bad case of the dredded infant sibling desease this summer…. I have introduced her parents to your blog, but either they have not done the responsible thing and read it, or they simply have not learned anything from it…. I remember having a severe case of ISD at four. I tried to fix the situation by trading my brother for a kitten, but much to my surprise my parents had already surrendered to the desease. If only I had known about the Oliver Twist-like orphanages back then….:)