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Dear Grandma and Grandpa,
I haven’t seen you in about a week which is fine. Maybe you have something better to do than watch your sweet baby bloom into life.
This past week was difficult. I just wanted to update you on what has been going on here and happening to me. Please see below.
1. Numerous unexplained time-outs.
2. Lentils for lunch. If you don’t know what lentils are, they’re rehydrated squirrel droppings or acorn shavings, I’m not sure.
3. She spoke to me rudely at approximately 4:45PM on Thursday.
4. No park on Friday at all.
5. Pants daily.
6. VERY few desserts. None of them chocolate related.
7. Two more of my puzzles were thrown away.
8. I found three of my DRAWINGS in the kitchen trash.
9. We’re out of red popsicles.
10. Asked daddy for an ice-cream sandwich at 2AM on Saturday. He laughed at me.
11. Mommy succumbed to peer pressure and ran away with friends. She returned hours later as if nothing had happened.
12. Six boo boos, one band-aid.
13. Stranger came into the house and accused me of toilet related crimes (I’ve never seen those washcloths in my life).
14. A big dog bit me in the face. OK that didn’t happen, but what if it did? Think of how terrible you would feel.
Can you guys come by and check on me? I’m very, very hungry. Please bring more chocolate chip cookies. Maybe we can go to the park or the drive through. I’m not picky.
Awaiting your reply. love HT
42 Comment on “Grandma and Grandpa”
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The Book is Here!
decapitatedlaughinghead
08 Jul 2012 09:07 am
Haha, how very cute :’)
Mickey
13 Jul 2012 12:07 pm
HOLD ON Grandma’s coming!!
Ah, dad I would recommend the ice cream way more than the lentils.
Vi
08 Jul 2012 10:07 am
I’m going to see my little man right now…..he needs me!!
dkzody
08 Jul 2012 10:07 am
How about we go out for a cannoli at Romolo’s? I know how much you love Ice Cream.
honesttoddler
03 Aug 2012 09:08 am
I’d love that
psychicquill
08 Jul 2012 11:07 am
erinmotz
08 Jul 2012 12:07 pm
Best. Baby. Ever.
opinionated one
08 Jul 2012 12:07 pm
Good reminder of what my f-i-l has missed by ignoring his current grandkids. Have already promised hubby we won’t allow that to happen with our future kids.
verbalbanter
08 Jul 2012 01:07 pm
No park? That’s criminal
Patricia Mead Moore
08 Jul 2012 01:07 pm
I love this! Not a grandmother, but I am a great-aunt and love all the photos and stories my niece puts on Facebook! I’m going to share this!
abramkj
08 Jul 2012 02:07 pm
Was worried about the couple day hiatus on here… you’re lucky to have such great grandparents! Hope they can visit soon.
ron stowers
08 Jul 2012 02:07 pm
Funny
Asher
08 Jul 2012 07:07 pm
I recommend hijacking a cell phone and pushing every button until you find their phone number. Scream into the receiver. They’ll come running.
Best of luck,
Your biggest fan and fellow HT
dkzody
08 Jul 2012 07:07 pm
Telling mommy you want to go to grandma’s house might work, too.
Morgan
08 Jul 2012 08:07 pm
bahaha, this is awesome because my parents do see my kids all the time but chocolate/dessert is ALWAYS involved.
Con Men, Trolls and Pick Up Lines « Cristin Harber
08 Jul 2012 10:07 pm
[...] no matter the age, this will make you laugh until you cry. Between HT’s posts to Santa and Grandma & Grandpa this week, I’ve ruined mascara, called a couple people and read them the posts, and chatted [...]
oneofthe20percent
09 Jul 2012 02:07 am
Adorable
Kimberly Barnes (@Mommy4Syd)
09 Jul 2012 12:07 pm
LOL i LOVE this. It just gets better and better with time.
Megan
09 Jul 2012 12:07 pm
I told my girls they could only have 1 Popsicle at Grandma’s house last Friday. Came back and found out Grandma changed the rules to no more than 6 Popsicles a piece!!!
dkzody
09 Jul 2012 12:07 pm
Good for grandma.
Mommy of one HT and one HN (honest newborn)
09 Jul 2012 02:07 pm
oh HT you’ve done it again. ((hugs)) to your mommy. I don’t know her but I feel like we’re the best of friends.
sallywally44
09 Jul 2012 02:07 pm
What about we grannies with 22yrs, grandson. Wana give a shout out to them. I love him and wish he could have stayed three or four. He was so lovable and precious. Never forget–his mom was always telling him she was going to bust his butt. One day during an episode he grabbed his look alike play phone and started dialing. Out of the corner of her eye mom was watching. He picked up the receiver and in a disgruntled tone ” Hello, 911? Somebody here is a gona bust my butt.”
kaiyasworld
10 Jul 2012 01:07 am
Ha! This sounds just like my toddler- including the fake dog bite. Mine’s been telling me lately that her cat has bit & scratched her, Grammy said she can have knuckle (ice cream) sandwiches for breakfast, & she has tried to leave the house without pants on several occasions, lol!
Thomas Haymore (@tchaymore)
10 Jul 2012 12:07 pm
I actually think #6 should be a crime. Never let a week go by without some chocolate dessert.
Linda MacKinley
10 Jul 2012 12:07 pm
That’s why this Nanny moved across the country.
moorethanamommy
10 Jul 2012 10:07 pm
Absolutely hilarious, as usual!
Pam
11 Jul 2012 02:07 pm
Hysterical, thanks for the laugh!!!
Urban Daddy
13 Jul 2012 02:07 am
Awesome!
diane nusse
13 Jul 2012 07:07 am
Let me grab my car keys babies. Grammie is out the door!
PapiMark
13 Jul 2012 05:07 pm
Can’t be my grandson. He’s here with me right now eating chocolate chip Ice cream and has a box of cookies for desert when he’s done.
Erika Rummel
14 Jul 2012 05:07 am
Have you read our manifesto, CHILDREN UNITE, in which we honour you as the founder of the Take Back Your Childhood Movement? Check it out at http://rummelsincrediblestories.blogspot.ca/
Bruce Hansen
15 Jul 2012 08:07 pm
Will be there soon…… Coming on July 24th and will leave on the 27th. Gpa
ashtmarie
25 Jul 2012 09:07 am
lol
mom
26 Jul 2012 07:07 pm
Layna and Landon don’t worry, MeMe is on her way with the chocolate.
G-ma
30 Jul 2012 10:07 pm
No one loves you like Grandma. I’m on my way Booboo.
Gloria & Hans
31 Jul 2012 09:07 am
I laughed and called my Granddaughter. Made sure she was ok. Ha ha One popsicle is never enough. Don’t know what our lives were like before grandkids. So much more joy now.
soggy butt
01 Aug 2012 05:08 pm
Dear HT… Let me say that I love your blog. It speaks to me in ways. I offer my condolences at the lack of chocolate in your home as mine is without chocolate as well. I have no idea what these “healthy cookies” are about. They’re not really healthy if i put them in the toilet every time SHE gives them to me. I’d rather hang out with dad because he takes me to get happy meals. My grandparents are hours away from me so there is no chance of the spoiling and attention that i rightfully deserve. Thank you for spreading the word about the proper way to live with a toddler and that our demands are simple and make everyone’s life easier. Keep writing!
What I’ve been reading of late: Funny Stuff | Me: Overseas
08 Aug 2012 03:08 pm
[...] Honest Toddler: Grandma and Grandpa. “Dear Grandma and Grandpa, I haven’t seen you in about a week which is fine. Maybe you [...]
maggiemoo414
12 Aug 2012 05:08 pm
Oh, the life of a toddler must be very hard. I feel for you.
Yoyo
13 Aug 2012 09:08 pm
I cracked up at 5. Pants Daily. That’s my struggle too.
Honest Toddler | Pretty Morning
14 Aug 2012 08:08 am
[...] how much love is in their heart. You can see more from Honest Toddler on facebook and via his blog. This post is one of my favorites! And I just tweeted my 100th tweet! #Boom Enjoy and Share: Posted in Baby, Life, Parenting [...]
TravelGirl33
28 Aug 2012 06:08 pm
Gra’ma is on the way. Plans for spoilin’