Dear Grandma and Grandpa,
I haven’t seen you in about a week which is fine. Maybe you have something better to do than watch your sweet baby bloom into life.
This past week was difficult. I just wanted to update you on what has been going on here and happening to me. Please see below.
1. Numerous unexplained time-outs.
2. Lentils for lunch. If you don’t know what lentils are, they’re rehydrated squirrel droppings or acorn shavings, I’m not sure.
3. She spoke to me rudely at approximately 4:45PM on Thursday.
4. No park on Friday at all.
5. Pants daily.
6. VERY few desserts. None of them chocolate related.
7. Two more of my puzzles were thrown away.
8. I found three of my DRAWINGS in the kitchen trash.
9. We’re out of red popsicles.
10. Asked daddy for an ice-cream sandwich at 2AM on Saturday. He laughed at me.
11. Mommy succumbed to peer pressure and ran away with friends. She returned hours later as if nothing had happened.
12. Six boo boos, one band-aid.
13. Stranger came into the house and accused me of toilet related crimes (I’ve never seen those washcloths in my life).
14. A big dog bit me in the face. OK that didn’t happen, but what if it did? Think of how terrible you would feel.
Can you guys come by and check on me? I’m very, very hungry. Please bring more chocolate chip cookies. Maybe we can go to the park or the drive through. I’m not picky.
Awaiting your reply. love HT