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Prize: One lasagna
Enter to win this lasagna! It was meant to be tonight’s dinner but we should have pizza. I know you love lasagna and will appreciate this.
Details: Lasagna is not as fun as its name implies, but due to your degenerating adult taste buds, you will think this is a wonderful treat or feast. This lasagna starts off with perfectly good pasta that probably now wishes it was dead. You put 8 or 9 of these long pasta railroad tracks into a pan that should have been used to make a cake for a young child. Then put on some white pieces. Then spread on a layer of blood. Add on some vegetables like zucchini and ground beef. You repeat this over and over again until you run out of ingredients and your baby is crying.
You don’t know how it feels to watch someone you love create this. It’s a scary sensation.
Shredded cheese is one of my favorite foods. Take all of the house shredded cheese and waste it on this dish. Put it in the oven.
While this was cooking I felt very alone. I knew that the only person who could rescue me was grandma. She’s like my own Liam Neeson. Luckily when the lasagna was done melting it was not served that evening so I still have a chance.
This is basically what it looks like.
How to Win: To win, just leave a comment here, on Facebook, in your butt, and on Twitter. Explain why you love lasagna and I’ll try not to get upset. One winner will be chosen sometime. Because I cannot operate a car, I will not deliver this lasagna. It weighs as much as me so you have to come get it. Use the back door and BE QUICK ABOUT IT.
If you’re busy running errands again, I will try to give it to the mailman to deliver but I doubt he’ll even make eye contact with me as he is a mean fool.
To make things simpler, if you win, just right click on the image, print out and enjoy.
Good luck.
53 Comment on “Giveaway”
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The Book is Here!
Ricky Anderson
24 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
I love lasagna and have already rescued it from your house. Don’t worry, I used the back door. Thanks for creating that diversion for me when you did a 2 AM quiet pee in the Big Bed!
Brandy
25 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
LOVE IT! Awesome response
whencrazymeetsexhaustion
24 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
MY OWN LIAM NEESON!! I bet he hates lasagna, too…
Rebecca L
24 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
I would love to win the lasagna! I would cut it up into pieces and throw some at anyone who rings the doorbell (it interrupts playtime with my toddler). UPS Man, beware!
Jason
24 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
Just give it to that orange cat on TV. He likes that stuff.
Chris
24 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
It can’t be nearly as bad as when an adult puts walnuts in an otherwise perfect batch of brownies. Let me know if you find someone to take your lasagna. They are obviously demented and would also enjoy this tainted plate of brownies on my kitchen counter.
Mason 2yrs
29 Oct 2012 02:10 pm
Lol. I hate when my parents put bad stuff I. Perfectly good stuff too
Stacie
24 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
There are few things worse than realizing there’s no more shredded cheese in the house. Someone should definitely stay on top of that to make sure there’s always a backup bag!
Karen
24 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
Feed the lasagna to the owls.
bcimthemommy
24 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
I may never eat a lasagna again after that description… you know unless I win one and then I will eat because I have to….
abramkj
24 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
Ground beef is a vegetable you may come to enjoy by age 3 or so….
Alison
24 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
I once was made to sit at the table for three hours because I refused to eat that awful lasagna. If I rescue you by stealing said lasagna, do I have to eat it? or can I throw it away down the block?
TheHonestToddler
25 Aug 2012 06:08 am
you can throw it away
Juani
24 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
I love lasagna,because I never put veggies in it,substituting it with lots of extra cheese.
Bailey’s Mom
24 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
Spaghetti is much more fun, and more aerodynamic.
jenna
24 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
I love lasagna, us “biggies” have a taste for blood and pasta. You’ll understand one day when your older! (Don’t you just love that phrase?)
Diana Lark
24 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
I’m actually not a huge fan of lasagna. Or oven macaroni. Or baked ziti. I don’t like any baked pasta. My mom almost cried when i told her i liked Kraft macaroni better than her homemade-from-scratch recipe. But seriously, who puts breadcrumbs in macaroni? Crazy.
Anyway, i don’t want your lasagna, but i will gladly split a pizza with you.
Rose
24 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
I love lasagna AND Liam Neeson. Yum.
jamie bradshaw
24 Aug 2012 02:08 pm
Tod? You haven’t finger painted with the lasagna blood?? All your friends are doing it…
Jaana
24 Aug 2012 02:08 pm
yuck! i hate lasagna! please disregard my comment as I do not want to be part of this prize
Mary Kay Emmrich
24 Aug 2012 02:08 pm
Lasagna is a plot to try to make you eat more vegetables. I don’t want it either.
Heather
24 Aug 2012 03:08 pm
It’s not placenta lasagna is it?!
Suzi
24 Aug 2012 03:08 pm
We’re making pizzas for dinner if you can break out I’m sure my mom will let you make one too. I can put whatever I want on mine… I like lots of cheese and spicy sausage.
Daddy’s Boy
24 Aug 2012 03:08 pm
I love lasagna because to dog will easily ‘steal’ it from me.
brandilyn
24 Aug 2012 03:08 pm
IN YOUR BUTT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
michelle
24 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
lasagna is just lots of cheese! at least when i make it…. lets not ruin it and hide veggies in cheese.
sharfchowdhury
24 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
Lasagna is awesome because it has cheese, and if you make enough you don’t have to waste time by cooking a second or third day because you can just reheat the leftovers (WOOHOO!!!). Which means more playtime with Adam (he’s only 6 months). What are your thoughts HT, do you like reheated food if it means more playtime and adventures?
TheHonestToddler
25 Aug 2012 06:08 am
I would never play with a six month old infant sorry
Stacy
31 Aug 2012 05:08 pm
LOL. Brilliant response HT.
carly
24 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
I love my mom because she takes 5 minutes to put a Stouffers in the oven so she can play ghost pirates with me while it’s cooking. Then she let’s me eat grapes for dinner while watching her choke down the Stouffers and then we play ghost pirates again before bed. She could really use something better than Stouffers, thank you.
sharfchowdhury
24 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
Oh!! that would be wrong.
Booba
24 Aug 2012 05:08 pm
Daddy ate all the shredded cheese in my house too….she only goes to the store every other day so I have to wait until tomorrow. We eat a lot I think.
evainthegreen
24 Aug 2012 05:08 pm
I love lasagne because it is my husband’s specialty which means I don’t have to cook it. Also it has cheese.
YourNiceAuntie
24 Aug 2012 05:08 pm
Looks like a lot of takers for the lasagna. I’ll be happy to take a bottle of that “special grape juice.” What kind of mean parents won’t share their juice with such a smart, perceptive toddler? Sippy cups up!
Patti
24 Aug 2012 06:08 pm
U r very unappreciative. There r children starving all over the world. Go put ur diapered butt in time out but before u do put the lasagna on the table. I will come over and get it and make sure some starving kids get it. Leave the door open.
TheHonestToddler
25 Aug 2012 06:08 am
and in your butt
Amy M. Pontius
31 Aug 2012 11:08 pm
Lol with tears
Megan H.
24 Aug 2012 06:08 pm
My personal favorite line of this is “until you run out of ingredients and your baby is crying”. Good stuff, HT! Thanks again for the wonderful laughs
My toddler hates lasagna too! But it has all the ingredients she loves! Cheese, noodles, sauca. I don’t get it!
Erin K
24 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
I would love to win this lasagna so I can repeatedly throw it on the floor and watch mommy get upset.
Hannabert
24 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
I like lasagna! The layers make it easy to conceal down what mom has termed my “adorable” outfit (Really mom? A smocked blue and white gingham checked romper?). The layers make it look like I have eaten when, in reality, i have taken the noodles and shoved them down the front of my romper. Then in the ultimate display of “cuteness,” I throw my hands up into the air, spraying sauce across the silk covered walls.
nojoketruestory
25 Aug 2012 12:08 am
Lasagna is a hat and that is why it doesn’t taste good.
Holly R
25 Aug 2012 02:08 am
HT, you missed some other key give-away meals–twice baked potatoes, meatloaf, homemade soups of all varieties (especially split pea or bean)–you get my drift. Parents need to stick to chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, and tater tots. Sneaking in vegetables is dirty pool.
immortalb4
25 Aug 2012 02:08 am
i love lasagna because garfield made me realize what it was and I’ve never looked back
Alicia
25 Aug 2012 03:08 am
I lovet to make lasagna in the winter, it is a yummy comfort food.
MamaMary
25 Aug 2012 04:08 am
If you feel compelled to make lasagne, please be honest about it and use artery-blocking beef and cheese… this chicken-spinach-mushroom lasagne shit is just embarrassing.
mamawearshotpants
25 Aug 2012 11:08 am
I’ll be happier when you give away chicken nuggets. But I know it won’t happen, I wouldn’t share chicken nuggets either. I’ll just have to get my own.
Lisa
25 Aug 2012 02:08 pm
Hi boy HT, I’m girl HT. My mama makes lasagna in a crock pot and I help. Of course I give her false hope that I’m going to eat it because I help her. hehe We T’s have to stick together right??
Jaclyn @ www.lilmsadventures.blogspot.com
26 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
Hi! The dad of the house loves lasagna over here!! Its fun to watch him eat it as he looks like an angry starving bear in the wild!!
Susan
26 Aug 2012 02:08 pm
Dear Honest Toddler,
I actually do not want your lasagna. You should appreciate picky tastebuds, knowing that you possess a set of your own. Here in our house, we have a Dad who makes a caramelized onion and roasted squash lasagna with homemade sauce from homegrown tomatoes and, to top it off, uses homemade noodles. It beats your diaper wearin’ (Or Pull-Up wearing–don’t be fooled, you’re not potty-trained) posterior.
I am a bit leery of the lasagna giveaway. I fear that it could snowball into a nightmarish version of If You Give an Adoring Fan a Pan of Lasagna book. Almost like the Laura Numeroff books. I’m worried this lasagna wouldn’t just arrive at my door. Instead, you would come with it. You’d come just for dinner, then overnight, then it would turn into 7 days while your parents party it up in Vegas. I know your type, HT. This giveaway comes with hidden fine print, which works in your favor, not mine.
Keep in mind, if you and your lasagna ever made it to our house for a rendezvous there is no sleeping in our bed. And there is no cot for you, either. You would be sleeping on the floor with no red popsicles on our carpet.
Please don’t read these as threats, just simple reminders from a teacher and mother of two very honest toddlers.
I’m sorry you have to eat sub-par lasagna. But ignorance is bliss.
Annalisa
06 Sep 2012 01:09 pm
Loved this. We have a favorite white lasagna here too. Just the carmelized onions take an hour to prepare, but it’s so worth it. My own HT looked at it, deemed it unworthy, and just started screaming for turkey shavings. I call her “the Philistine” under my breath a lot.
SBBoston
28 Aug 2012 11:08 am
You’re right to give that thing away. It is so wrong. Trust me, I’m a grown up, but I am Italian (from Italy, not US-born imitation). First, it should be called “lasagnE” with an e at the end – see, we are already onto something here. And then, it should be a lot less cahotic: green pasta, with just the right splash of bechamelle and ragù between layers, and a wonderful topping of crisped parmesan if it is from Bologna; white pasta, with a good tomato sauce and small, tasty, crispy meatballs if it is from the south. Good thing that Ricky Anderson was there to save you, a win-win!
Seasweetie
07 Sep 2012 10:09 pm
OK, HT – I’m giving you The Sunshine Award! Because I know that’s just what you are – a little ball of sunshine. You or your semi-responsible adult can visit here to learn more: http://seasweetie.wordpress.com/2012/09/07/the-sunshine-award/
Happy trails!
SunBlitz42
21 Sep 2012 02:09 pm
You owe me whatever it costs to get the coffee out of my keyboard.