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    • 4 Sep 2012

      Feeding

      Written by TheHonestToddler

      Sometimes spoons are too heavy or your beautiful toddler’s arms are tired. When that happens, it is your responsibility to help. While feeding a baby is easy on account of them being powerless, toddlers require more consideration.

      Follow the instructions below for feeding success. When you’re done, give yourself a small pat on the back. Small.

      Pre-feeding

      You most likely have a toddler seat in your home whether it’s a high chair (LOL) or a booster seat on a regular chair. That said, allow toddler to decide where he or she feels the most at home. When toddler is seated comfortable in your lap remind yourself that children are a blessing.

      If you’ve already made your sweet child a plate, that’s your bad. We will be sharing with you.

      Find a toddler-sized spoon, not a ladle. You’re ready.

      Feeding

      You might be asking yourself why toddler needs to be fed. Just because we’ve used utensils before doesn’t mean we remember how or that we’re up for the task. This is not a Stouffer’s commercial, this is real life.

      1. Put 1 teaspoon of food on the toddler spoon. Examine the food:

      • Does it contain more than one flavor or type of food? NO.
      • Does it contain more than one color? NO.
      • Does it contain multiple textures (crunchy AND soft)? NO. Exception: Ice-cream and sprinkles
      • Is it HOT? I shouldn’t even have to say this. If you burn your toddler’s mouth with too hot food please look for the small “x” in the top right-hand corner of your browser and click because you are banned from this website. You have lost my respect.

      2. Say something nice like, “Here you go, amazing baby, a little bite for you” in a genuine voice.

      3. Bring the spoon slowly up to toddler’s mouth so that it can be visually inspected by your client.

      4. Hold the spoon 1/2 an inch from toddler’s mouth DON’T YOU DARE TAP THE LIPS WITH THE SPOON SO INCREDIBLY RUDE and wait for toddler to have a chance to smell.

      5. If toddler hits the spoon out of your hand, laugh and move on to dessert.

      6. If toddler eats, bravo on the mac ‘n cheese.

      7. Wait 8-10 minutes.

      8. Repeat this process until toddler jumps off of your lap. Note: Between each new food (rice to chicken, beans to marshmallow creme lol I had to try), announce the name of the food.

      Post Feeding

      1. Did you make any promises? “If you finish your food, you can have a cookie.” Keep your end of the agreement whether or not toddler kept theirs because a child cannot legally enter into a binding contract.

      Things to Remember

      It’s so cute that you love cooking but when your hobbies start to hurt the children,  it’s time to move on. There are many restaurants right in your city with prepared food available for purchase. Many of these places also deliver for your convenience. Pizza without toppings is always a wonderful option that will not only put a smile on your toddler’s face, but make you a hero. Thank you for thinking of others.

       

    42 Comment on “Feeding”

    • amanda

      04 Sep 2012 11:09 am

      “When the toddler is seated comfortably in your lap…” LOL i love it. HT-you are the best. thank you so much for ensuring i take the best care of my toddler! i’ve learned so much from you!

      Reply
    • Rabia

      04 Sep 2012 11:09 am

      This is SO my life right now!! Last night I put a bowl of raspberries on the table. When I attempted to put some on my 2YO’s plate he screamed. I thought he wanted to serve himself, so I gave him the bowl and the serving spoon. He then proceeded to feed himself right out of the bowl with the ginormous serving spoon. Good thing nobody else wanted raspberries last night!!

      Reply
      1. Emily

        06 Sep 2012 02:09 pm

        That is dinner at our house every night.

        Reply
    • Mona

      04 Sep 2012 11:09 am

      My son sits in his booster seat and likes feeding himself should i be worried? :)

      Reply
      1. Heather

        06 Sep 2012 12:09 am

        Yes, this is just a phase, you too will be in our shoes :D

        Reply
    • happymomsusan

      04 Sep 2012 11:09 am

      HT, what is the acceptable response when my child wants to share with me? When he grabs the spoon and tries to feed me from his plate, what is the acceptable response?

      Reply
      1. ferg447

        04 Sep 2012 12:09 pm

        You had better eat it. It’s like the cat bringing you a dead bird. You smile and say thank you while you cringe and eat the soggy cherrios.

        Reply
        1. happymomsusan

          04 Sep 2012 02:09 pm

          Thanks so much for your help. I’ll work on it.

          Reply
    • Kaley

      04 Sep 2012 12:09 pm

      I knew it! HT, are you my toddler? Every single post is spot on. So thats what you are doing when you use my tablet.

      Reply
    • twoundertwo

      04 Sep 2012 12:09 pm

      HT, I noticed you avoided the subject completely, but what’s up with throwing food on the floor? What are we suppose to do with that!? ;)

      Reply
    • Annalisa

      04 Sep 2012 12:09 pm

      You must be talking to my daughter. She used to be self-feeding, but clearly you’ve talked her into being another one of those difficult toddlers.

      Reply
    • Martha

      04 Sep 2012 12:09 pm

      my favorite: ” If toddler hits the spoon out of your hand, laugh and move on to dessert.”
      made me laugh. thanks!

      Reply
    • Bailey

      04 Sep 2012 12:09 pm

      Oh HT, you can brighten any day! May I suggest a little oatmeal with Nutella and Peanut Butter? It’s like a cookie! Quite yummy

      Reply
    • Melanie

      04 Sep 2012 01:09 pm

      Thanks for the laughs. It’s funny because it’s true. And yes, I’m always being fed soggy cheerios here too :-)

      Reply
    • chemimommy

      04 Sep 2012 01:09 pm

      “…because a child cannot legally enter into a binding contract.” LOL, too funny!

      Reply
    • Christine

      04 Sep 2012 02:09 pm

      Spot on. My toddlers MUST sit on my lap. AND eat from my plate. I love you HT!

      Reply
    • J&C’s mom

      04 Sep 2012 05:09 pm

      HT – I’ve been asked how did I get my children to eat vegetables and salad…The items were on my plate and not theirs. So, you need to be careful when you eat from your mom’s plate.

      Reply
      1. Crazed in the Kitchen

        04 Sep 2012 05:09 pm

        Shhhh!! You’re giving away valuable secrets! ;)

        Reply
        1. Amelia Sherry @feedingisla

          05 Sep 2012 07:09 pm

          Definitely a valuable secret! Stay mum, since my T has not figured this one out. She eats (steals) all kinds of healthy deliciousness (vegetable frittata, quinoa salad (messy!) and curried cauliflower, etc, so long as she is pulling them off of my plate. Apparently, it tastes best if it is taken right when I’m about to reach for it with my OWN fork.

          Reply
    • Grandma

      04 Sep 2012 08:09 pm

      HT… Please tell me why playing in the dog water and dog food is so much fun.. I’m willing to give it a shot right alongside my 16 month old, just need to know the logic behind it :)

      Reply
      1. Tay

        05 Sep 2012 03:09 pm

        Bahahahahaha!

        Reply
      2. tony

        06 Sep 2012 01:09 am

        At our house its the cat food, she scoops it into the water dish then into her mouth, slimy crunchy yuck!
        “shudders” lol

        Reply
      3. Not fast enough

        06 Sep 2012 02:09 pm

        ditto on that one. Not only playing in it, but the pure joy of dumping the entire bowl on the kitchen floor. It must be the noise I make as I scramble to stop it from happening again…..

        Reply
    • momma

      05 Sep 2012 12:09 am

      died laughing at “your client” bahahahahahaha

      Reply
    • Chris

      05 Sep 2012 08:09 am

      …”a hold cannot enter into a legally binding contract.” Dying.

      Reply
      1. Chris

        05 Sep 2012 08:09 am

        that should read “…a CHILD cannot hold…”

        Reply
    • Katherine @ Grass Stains

      05 Sep 2012 09:09 am

      Ohhh, HT. You really have your finger on the pulse of American toddlers, don’t you? This post goes into the category of “HT Classic.”

      Reply
    • jaclyn @ www.lilmsadventures.blogspot.com

      05 Sep 2012 10:09 am

      HAHAHA!! it’s cute to love cooking but when your hobbies start to hurt your children.. TOO FUNNY!! xoxox

      Reply
    • Tay

      05 Sep 2012 03:09 pm

      How else is the dog going to get fed?!

      Reply
      1. Tay

        05 Sep 2012 03:09 pm

        That was supposed to be in response to “twoundertwo”…

        Reply
    • Angela

      05 Sep 2012 10:09 pm

      Dear HT,
      Our mom seems to need extra help in the area of feeding toddlers, as she often expects us to eat our food rather than throw it on the floor. Do you offer remedial coursework?
      Sincerely,
      The A. Twins

      Reply
    • Danielle

      06 Sep 2012 06:09 am

      “When toddler is seated comfortable in your lap remind yourself that children are a blessing.”

      *DEAD ON* lol :)

      Reply
    • Courtney

      06 Sep 2012 08:09 am

      I LOVED #6
      “6. If toddler eats, bravo on the mac ‘n cheese.”
      Our other fail safe was mini ravioli from the can. Can’t go wrong with something small enough for her to eat whole AND simultaneously make a mess!

      Reply
      1. Varda Evenstar Mercurio Lobanov

        02 Nov 2012 10:11 am

        My toddler now refused anything that is not home cooked. Even then it’s 50/50.

        Reply
    • Kitty

      06 Sep 2012 09:09 am

      Lol, wait 8-10 min. And repeat. Hahahahahaha! HT, you are sweet and snarky, love it.

      Reply
    • Alley

      06 Sep 2012 12:09 pm

      5. If toddler hits the spoon out of your hand, laugh and move on to dessert.

      Ha! This one made me laugh out loud!

      Reply
    • BSC Mama Bear

      06 Sep 2012 02:09 pm

      HT, my co-workers are staring at me over the tops of their cubicles because I can’t stop laughing. You are taking the words right out of my 2-year-old’s mouth. You are just epic and awesome.

      Reply
    • HoldOnPumpkin

      06 Sep 2012 02:09 pm

      I feel like a rude jerk now for sure, what with my always tapping the spoon on Pumpkin’s lips. And speaking of ‘Pumpkin’… HT what are your thoughts on adorable nick-names for your kind? I know these things run rampant on the women’s interwebs… Can cutesy nick-names ever become offensive?

      Reply
    • Michelle McDonald Kinison

      06 Sep 2012 09:09 pm

      Boosters and high chairs?!?! HT, those are SO 2 months ago.. Eating on the run is much better. You get nourishment & exercise at the same time!

      Reply
      1. Varda Evenstar Mercurio Lobanov

        02 Nov 2012 10:11 am

        LOL! You haven’t lived until you’ve chased down a two year old with a spoonful of yogurt.

        Reply
    • Happy Weekend! | Pretty Morning

      07 Sep 2012 08:09 am

      [...] Some sound feeding advice from the Honest Toddler. LOL! He cracks me up! [...]

      Reply
    • MESS FREE BABY SPOON – Babies can learn to feed themselves! « Achieving Perfection

      07 Sep 2012 07:09 pm

      [...] Feeding (thehonesttoddler.com) [...]

      Reply

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