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I know you’re used to playing second fiddle. Waiting in the shadows while mama and I do our special dance. Seeing my angry disappointment after I cry out in the dark for her only and you tiptoe in to stroke my hair, helping my body relax into sleep again. But dada, my world wouldn’t exist without you.
When you walk out the door in the morning time stops until you step back in. The day happens; the clock keeps ticking but something inside me doesn’t budge from my sad place in front of the door. I play, sleep, jump, eat, explore, but part of who I am is frozen. Empty. Wanting the highest up I know. Wishing you were spinning me in circles scaring mama as we both laugh our crazy laugh.
Sometimes I’m naughty. My hands hit. Screams. I break things. And you keep coming home.
I throw food across the room. Spill yogurt on your toys. Draw on your favorite papers. Do bad smelling things in the bath. And you keep coming home.
I push away from your chest and twist my body towards mama, mama only, mama up. And you keep coming home.
You keep choosing me.
During the day my mind sends you messages. Pictures of us wrestling, building towers, laughing, all to pull you back to me. Do you see them? Don’t forget about me. I know your work is big but don’t forget about me please.
Sometimes I get so scared as I stare out the window in the long afternoons hoping each car speeding past our street is yours, imagining you never coming back. Finding a new baby who listens.
I must be very special. I must be good if you want to play with me.
Even when I’m big, I’ll remember that you kept coming home and that’s something no one can take away.
You’re my favorite daddy. I’ll always wait for you.
47 Comment on “Dada”
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The Book is Here!
wendykat
30 Jun 2012 11:06 am
oh sniffle! pretty my sproglet feels the same. she reserves her biggest smiles for when her dad walks in the door.
Ashley
30 Jun 2012 11:06 am
Aww..this is so sweet. Melt. my. heart. <3
Angela
30 Jun 2012 03:06 pm
I am sitting in an outlet mall crying now. Thanks HT
Nancy Adams
30 Jun 2012 03:06 pm
Beautifully profound. It’s what every child needs: a father who comes home
simplymebeingme
30 Jun 2012 03:06 pm
Absolutely beautiful. You DO have a heart, HT!
Toni-Jane Wykes
30 Jun 2012 04:06 pm
Wonderful! It is how i remember my Dad when i was young and how i hope my wee one feels about her Dad. It also speaks to the hidden need and insecurities that she has when i can’t work out why she is acting out or acting up during the day. I love this blog because it reminds me to think through my own childs perspective.
Mama Mary
30 Jun 2012 09:06 pm
Oh HT, how I love you in all your dastardly evilness AND all your sweet sweet poignancy.
Sabrina Clemens
30 Jun 2012 10:06 pm
Love this. Today is my daddy’s birthday and if he was still here on earth he would be 82. This blog today fits how I loved him. Thanks HT…
Colby
01 Jul 2012 06:07 am
I’m a dada, reading this after a 24 hour blackout, holding my 16-month-old little girl, while her mama sleeps in this morning. And let me tell you, this brought a little tear to my eye. Thank you to all the toddlers out there, for continuing to bring joy and surprises to our lives.
Tanipooh
01 Jul 2012 10:07 pm
I’m bawling over here, HT. We know your dada is your ultimate hero. The highest “up”.
redrocklobster (@redrocklobster)
02 Jul 2012 12:07 pm
Sexist. Why is dada coming home and not mama? And who says I have any more of a choice?
honesttoddler
02 Jul 2012 01:07 pm
Because he is. ??? Valid second point. Wishful thinking I guess.
Stacy Seymour
02 Jul 2012 02:07 pm
Hey don’t hate on HT. Vent your angst elsewhere, little dude’s just talking about his situation.
Leila
02 Jul 2012 08:07 pm
HT calls em like he sees em. And has lots of love for Dada, which I bet his Dada appreciates!
Deb M
17 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
Seriously, take the innocence of this and just change it to fit your situation if need be. It doesn’t have to be turned into a sexist thing. It is a beautiful sentiment that tells a beautiful story. Take that away from it instead of making it a statement it isn’t. SMH
missmommyv
03 Jul 2012 03:07 pm
You know redrock, that could be the dumbest thing ever…. apply it to your situation, but its not sexist.. im a momma, – i chose to work, and both my husband and i work together, and pick our son up together from daycare.. and he gives us both the same smile… you dont hear me bitching.. crazy PC people
Lindsey
04 Jul 2012 01:07 am
Love this. Thanks for the reminder, and the happy tears. :’)
hobbes242
05 Jul 2012 02:07 pm
Wow. Just… wow. My favourite moment of each work day is when I step in the front door, and my now 22-month-old looks up and says, with a big smile, “Daddy”–not with excitement or exasperation, but almost as though he is saying “Now everything is as it should be.”
Thank you, HT, for these very happy tears.
dominicanae
08 Jul 2012 02:07 pm
So sweet.
My sister’s children love their mama, but they scream like groupies at a rock concert when their father walks in the front door. The toddler, strapped in her high chair by that time, can’t run to meet him like the older kids, so she does the next best thing and bursts into spontaneous, shrieking applause.
I’m pretty sure their dad thinks this is a pretty okay part of his day.
Danielle
08 Jul 2012 08:07 pm
Made me bawl like a baby!
Beverley
09 Jul 2012 07:07 pm
Simply beautiful……this describes the joy I see in my grandson when his father comes home. I love Honest Toddler…..he/she is very wise.
mjdaniels
09 Jul 2012 07:07 pm
Definitely made this dada cry. Walking out that door in the morning is the worst part of every weekday . . . and walking back in is the best.
sharfchowdhury
10 Jul 2012 09:07 am
Wow… what a great little post. I have to say, my fav part of the day is when I go and get my little man in the morning and cuddle with him at night before bed. thanks for a great post and blog.
foreigninput
10 Jul 2012 10:07 am
so beautiful
Val
10 Jul 2012 03:07 pm
Sent this to my husband! our 2 year old is a total mama’s girl but when she hears his car beep (lock) she yells, “DADDY IS HOOOOOOME!!!! Mommy, OPEN THEN DOOR! DADDY’S HOME!”
Denis
10 Jul 2012 10:07 pm
I just cried lol so true
Beatrice
11 Jul 2012 08:07 am
awwww I am in tears
alex’s grandma
11 Jul 2012 11:07 am
How beautiful. helps, TO REMEMBER THAT EVEN DO WE GIVE LIFE TO OUR CHILDREN, DAD LOVE THEM AS MUCH,AND SOME CASES MORE THEN MOMMY.Let them enjoy this precious little person.
maybe2under2
11 Jul 2012 04:07 pm
Love this. Pretty sure it’s exactly how my son feels about his dad.
Pau-erful Love
12 Jul 2012 10:07 pm
sweet….sniff….awww…
End Of The Week Snacks {7.13.12} | Motley Mama
13 Jul 2012 07:07 am
[...] Dada [...]
Dad and Buried
16 Jul 2012 01:07 pm
Nice to hear from the kid’s perspective after I vented a bit about being “second fiddle” in my house: http://goo.gl/WB5tx
Just biding my time until we can play catch. Then it will all be worth it!
Ricky Anderson
17 Jul 2012 02:07 pm
Best thing I’ve read in a while. Well done. I am privileged to be that dad to my son. I hope I never take it for granted.
Murph
19 Jul 2012 12:07 am
“Even when I’m big, I’ll remember that you kept coming home and that’s something no one can take away.”
Ouch. Loved the post, HT, but made my heart ache for my 2 toddlers because their dad, who they love, stopped coming home. They still see him very frequently, but when they’re big, they’ll know he decided to stop coming home. Unfortunately, no one can take that away, either.
booboo fixer
03 Sep 2012 05:09 am
I know how you feel – I feel broken at the thought of trying to explain to my 2 babies that their ‘dada’ didn’t want to live with us anymore either. Still sees them, but not the same. We wish upon the stars every night – even when they’re hiding behind clouds that his heart will soften one day & come home. Hugs & love. xx
ang
14 Feb 2013 08:02 pm
Stumbled across this through twitter and I’m ashamed to say I’m crying rn. My “dada” stopped coming home just over 10 years ago, and I’m still not over it. But as long as your kids still see their father, they won’t be perfect, but they’ll be better off than me by far. I hope he does good by them. Xoxo
ashtmarie
25 Jul 2012 09:07 am
Awwwwww so sweet!!!!
God Keeps Choosing Us « Disoriented. Reoriented.
27 Jul 2012 08:07 am
[...] was struck by this notion when reading Honest Toddler’s beautiful post about his (her?) DaDa: Sometimes I’m naughty. My hands hit. Screams. I break things. And you keep [...]
twocatsandabell
28 Jul 2012 10:07 am
Sweettttt!!! It’s a perfect description of the dada’s role
Erin Morrissey-Koenig
31 Jul 2012 06:07 pm
Just “pasted” to an email and sent to my Daddy. He chose to be Moma and Daddy when I was only a month old. He was my world, until I becam a Mamma, and now a Granna…so love that my daughter shared your blog with me. And so love and appreciate my Son-in-Law who responded to my daughter forwarding this to him on guys night with…”Stop-I’m with the guys.” LOL none of them have kids yet, and didn’t get the tears…
maggiemoo414
12 Aug 2012 05:08 pm
aww
Lindsey Johnson Michaud
24 Aug 2012 09:08 pm
This just made me tear up
And it’s not just the pregnancy hormones. Your blog is amazing and I look forward to the posts to come 
Danielle
12 Sep 2012 07:09 am
Because that’s their situation and this is not about you. Make you own blog if you’re that pressed.
Tams
20 Sep 2012 02:09 am
Nothing like crying at work, Thanks HT
Adam
27 Sep 2012 09:09 pm
I’m definitely crying. It’s casual. My biological clock is ticking. And I’m a guy.
Trish
22 Jan 2013 05:01 pm
Wow! For the last few days,you,HT and my Toddler seem to be on the same page..its like she does something and I come here to read,you saying the same..the bathroom door for instance..But this..this…If she had words…she would say the same..word for word..
Daddy is the highest up! lots of love!
Daddysan
23 Jan 2013 10:01 am
This moved me so deeply. Thank you. It’s a privilege being a father.