Books are wonderful entertainment, gum, and weapons. Many parents read whole stories and don’t skip pages but I wouldn’t know anything about that. Being a scholar, I love books. When you’re done texting take a moment to learn about toddler favorites.
1. The Giving Tree
In this book a young boy with beautiful overalls kills a tree over the course of many years.
I love this story because it shows me that everything is mine just like I thought. “Reach for the stars,” this book says, “hit them out of the sky with a stick.”
2. Blueberries For Sal
This is a heartwarming tale about a kid tragically named Sal. After Sal and her mother lose everything they are forced to steal fruit from nature. Like all gifted children, Sal cannot control her behavior and almost gets her and her mother killed by bears. This does not change how Santa feels about Sal or how many presents she will receive because forgiveness is the key.
My favorite part is where Sal steals food and nobody yells. Imagine that.
3. The Very Hungry Caterpillar
The moral of this story is to not eat people food unless you’re a people. Should go without saying.
Enjoy the life-like photos in this horrible tale. This book will melt if you give it a bath so keep your receipt.
4. The Freshest Produce For Less
The first time I saw The Freshest Produce For Less I threw up pure milk.
Next to each food you’ll see a number. That’s how many tears it has caused.
The “Great Fresh Variety” section will make you wonder if anyone cares.
Only read this book on Mondays so that you have the whole week to get right.