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I want to have a rational discussion about the big bed. I am a reasonable human being and don’t like to see anybody get their feelings hurt.
Daddy, this post is specifically for you as I can tell you are struggling with your place in this family during the night hours. The question looms every single evening: Who does mommy belong to?
It’s easy for me to point out the obvious fact that she and I are blood relatives while you two seem to have some sort of contractual relationship, but I want to acknowledge your emotional problems. Who wouldn’t want to snuggle with her? She’s soft and smells great.
Daddy, are you scared of the dark? It’s OK if you are (LOL) but I just want to know because I am. I know the two of you are convinced that the Fischer Price Ocean Wonders Turtle Nightlight thing is some kind of proverbial night watchman, but I assure you if an owl tried to collect my eyes at 10PM, that $50 construction would prevent nothing.
My own personal security aside (!), I know that my nighttime requests, occasional flatulence, REM screaming, and kicks to the face can be disconcerting. There’s also only so much space in our bed and I fully own up to taking up 70-80% of it.
Delicate question: Is it the pee pee? I know rising for a fresh new day partially drenched in someone else’s urine isn’t ideal but I looked it up on Wikipedia and my liquid waste is sterile. You won’t get sick. You may even repel bears during the day. <– I haven’t had a chance to confirm this.
I feel as if I’m missing something when it comes to your attachment to the big bed. Something I can’t quite put my finger on.
Bottom line: Nobody likes to sleep alone. You need a restful night’s slumber to prepare for a day of….I don’t know what, and I see how I’ve been a barrier to this.
Daddy, I see you. I hear you. You’ll be thrilled to know that I’ve come up with a solution that you are sure to find not only satisfactory but quite generous if I do say so myself.
……
Wait for it
…….
FEAST YOUR EYES!
Are you familiar with REI? People all over the world who have never seen a mountain in their lives wear fleeces with this company’s logo to become honorary park rangers.
REI has bounty of cots available that look quite comfortable! Whoa, and it’s on special!
OK, OK, daddy hold on. I can already feel your resistance. You don’t have to start out the night sleeping on your special adult cot. We’ll all cozy up together in the big bed and once you’re nice and asleep mommy and I will geeeeeeeeeently roll you on to your own fantastic awesome bed which will be right next to ours if you need anything. Anything at all.
In the morning, feel free to come join us again. Quietly, though, OK?
I presented this idea to mommy earlier and she laughed and laughed until she had to excuse herself which I took as two thumbs up.
I hope you’re as excited as I am. Tell you what. Tomorrow, we’re going to pick out some new (twin sized?) special sheets just for you. Anything you want. Mommy and I want you to be happy.
love, HT
PS. Check. Mate.
142 Comment on “Big Bed”
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The Book is Here!
Jessica Course (@mommiesfirst)
25 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
Awesome! You never fail to make me laugh out loud!
abramkj
25 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
Well played, again.
Amanda Steed
25 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
“You won’t get sick. You may even repel bears during the day. <– I haven’t had a chance to confirm this."
Awesome.
Christine James Photography
25 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
Brilliant
Kelster
25 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
Well, the fact that he has never been attacked by a bear somewhat confirms that your pee is repelling bears. All hail the big bed!
Serra
25 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
I love it! As our 5 year old still sleeps with me, my husban has ended up sleeping in our sons bed. Sometimes I’m jealous of the sleep without little people!
Shelley Hinch
26 Aug 2012 09:08 am
How about making your kid sleep in his own bed? You’re not doing him any favors by stunting his growth to meet your emotional needs.
Rochelle Walker
26 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
yikes. :/
Tanya Mize
26 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
^Oh lawd….An internet psychologist. Awesome.
Larissa
26 Aug 2012 09:08 pm
lol @ internet psychologist!
HoldOnPumpkin
26 Aug 2012 03:08 pm
The post was funny, sure! But this comment is CRAZY, hilarious-town funny. “Stunting his growth…” baw-hahahaha… Wait… It’s a joke right?
Elizabeth
26 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
i think you have sleeping in the big bed confused with the rumors about drinking coffee.
katese11
02 Sep 2012 11:09 am
Research shows that people who co-sleep also feed their kids coffee. In the name of “baby-led addiction to caffeinated beverages”. They also breastfeed their children until they go to college, and aforesaid children are all midgets due to their stunted growth. <– I haven’t had a chance to confirm this."
Megs mama
27 Aug 2012 08:08 am
Oh, yay
this actually made me laugh more than the post itself, which is ALOT.
jenmarie1987
28 Aug 2012 12:08 am
omg hilarious post but this idiotic comment takes it over the top. shelley should check out the famous research of Dr Sears on cosleeping. she must be pretty old to still think cosleeping stunts a baby’s growth. lol.
Gamma
30 Aug 2012 11:08 am
Yeah. the “famous research” that is complete and utter hogwash.
Kids don’t belong in parent’s beds. period. ever. that’s why someone invented door locks.
James B
31 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
that’s weird. i thought door locks were invented for security, not to keep your child out of your bed. but then i also thought it was perfectly fine for my son to sleep right next to me, safe and sound. i don’t think his growth is stunted since he’s in the 90% range for height and weight and he’s pretty independent, so i can rule out emotional stunting as well…
but no, you must be right. you know the exact reason behind the invention of locked doors. i cannot compete with your intellect.
Blondie
02 Sep 2012 06:09 am
Obviously somebody doesn’t know that bedsharing lowers the risk of SIDS, makes breastfeeding easy/handy, provides comfort and stimulates baby’s respiratory system and temperature regulator, as well as going along with all of evolution of mammals, which says that a baby needs to be constantly protected by it’s parents. Studies also show better quality of sleep for moms who co-sleep, and, in particular, bed share.
I bet you also think cry-it-out is great and doesn’t cause permanent damage to the brain….
ashley
02 Sep 2012 10:09 pm
Maybe she meant “stunting” the husband’s growth? Toddler beds are tiny…..
Jessica Lang Wenzel
03 Sep 2012 09:09 am
^^ winning!
korpsy
18 Sep 2012 07:09 pm
lol permanent damage to the brain. Why include that? Your comment was so well written up to that point! Don’t sink to their level.
Pip
09 Sep 2012 07:09 pm
Can’t help but feel like this is a troll… As for kids not belonging in parents beds ever, you might want to tell the majority of human beings around the world and throughout history… they obviously don’t know this seeing as most humans co-sleep and always have. But yeah, what would they know in comparison to the last 100yr of western societies which are obviously producing far better, more compassionate, well-adjusted human beings (not)? lol As for door locks, we don’t know what they are and besides that it wouldn’t make any difference seeing as my 7yr old is smarter than me and almost as tall, so he’d figure them out and climb in beside us – not because he has to, but because he prefers not to be alone… just like his mother in fact.
Charles
06 Oct 2012 11:10 am
Hey kid, just a murmur of Daddy-centricity:
It’s all ok. Cot me. Kick me. Bite me (not even remotely a double-entendre, remember those first teeth, and Daddy reaching around to the car-seat and letting you knuckle-gnaw to stop the ow-wie? Same thing). Pinch my face face and say, ‘beard.’
By golly little Sasquatch, that’s what Daddy’s for.
Just don’t forget when Mommy’s cashed from boobing, and Nana and Papa have gone home, when that 3am call comes, it’s ol’ Dad that picks you, ‘uppity,’ gives you a sip of juice, and takes you outside for a breath of air and possibly a look at the moon.
When you drift back off to sleep on the big flat chest with the loud ticker, don’t thank me. That’s what Daddy’s are for.
When you’re around 25 my true worth will become manifest. In the meantime, I’ll be your huckleberry.
Brenda
11 Oct 2012 04:10 pm
Love this!
Miranda
06 Dec 2012 12:12 pm
Charles, your family is lucky to have you! My husband could have almost written this comment himself, except our babies avoid his face for the sharp stubble
Men who love to be Daddy, are priceless!
Brittany
09 Jan 2013 01:01 am
This totally made me think of my hubby! He shares the same mindset that kids aren’t a burden but a blessing (even with the night wakings and cot time)…..and that huckleberry line is his all time favorite movie quote!
Andrea
05 Mar 2013 03:03 pm
Too sweet, thank you!!!
Mama Bing
11 Mar 2013 02:03 am
Beyond perfect. What a lucky family you have! My hubby could say much the same… except for “little Sasquatch”… that killed me with its cute!! I love good daddies.
Nelly
25 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
My. Life. Story.
JRV
25 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
I’m certain that no one in the Big Bed has eve been attacked by bears, thus your theory is sound. Keep protecting your family, your way.
anna
25 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
so funny. and so true.
Bailey
25 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
Hilarious! HT you always know how to make me laugh! When I was a little older than you, about 4, my daddy threw me over the side of the bed, just for being sick! All daddies should have their own bed!
J&C (shh – using mommy’s computer)
25 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
I think aliens are transporting us back into our own beds. One minute we’ve gone as quietly as a 6 and 4 year old can into their room, gently nudged daddy to the edge of the bed and then trapped mommy’s arms with our bodies and her body under our legs. We just don’t understand how we end up back in our own beds in the morning. Mommy said it was her putting us back, but we’ve got her trapped…how? i ask, how is she getting out from our trap? Have you seen aliens?
Jennie
25 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
HT, the Daddy in our house usually falls asleep on the couch downstairs and forgets to come to the big bed. You would love it here.
Holly
25 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
Cheers for the laughs!
jfugi
25 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
“if an owl tried to collect my eyes at 10PM” LOL!
Dionna Ford
25 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
Oh my. Literally just laughed out loud. We have a family bed, and our 4.5yo is in the midst of a wild sleep phase. I could see him saying a few of these things to my husband!
~Dionna @ CodeNameMama.com
Jessica (@jessbwatson)
25 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
Oh hilarious!
Jim Tignor
25 Aug 2012 09:08 pm
At three my son asked my wife if I wouldn’t like to move outside into his Fischer Price playhouse and he and she would stay in the big house…
Didn’t happen!
Nessa
25 Aug 2012 09:08 pm
Can’t stop laughing. Cannot stop.
LeighAnn
25 Aug 2012 09:08 pm
HT, Not only are you and your mother blood relatives but you will never leave her for a younger mommie…that in itself is reason enough to give you the edge. Sweet dreams!
Danielle
25 Aug 2012 09:08 pm
“It’s easy for me to point out the obvious fact that she and I are blood relatives while you two seem to have some sort of contractual relationship”
Love it!! This post had me HOWLING with laughter
Sweta
25 Aug 2012 10:08 pm
This is the story of our lives!! Well put across HT.
whencrazymeetsexhaustion
25 Aug 2012 11:08 pm
Perfection. Absolute perfection.
Renee Bamminger
25 Aug 2012 11:08 pm
Gosh Toddler you are a funny little munchkin! you have me laughing out laugh!
Ashley
26 Aug 2012 12:08 am
Honest Toddler, my 5 month old baby would like to be tutored by you. He has made me promise to pay you in cake, red popsicles, and chocolate pudding. He understands that he is a mere bobblehead, but promises to sneak you his extra binky if you meet him in the sandbox for lessons on getting into the big bed. Does this interest you?
TheHonestToddler
27 Aug 2012 12:08 am
yes
Ashley
27 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
See you tomorrow afternoon at the park.
Deanne
26 Aug 2012 12:08 am
This is great for a family experiencing their first born. And boy is it true how the baby takes over the bed. Made me laugh as it matched my life 13 years ago with my first, and still does with 4 children wanting to be in the bed and dad moves out.
Melissa Stottmann
26 Aug 2012 12:08 am
Like a boss.
raphaelle
26 Aug 2012 02:08 am
Honest Toddler, are you my toddler? Is this why you always want to “play” with the Ipad?
keanetwins
26 Aug 2012 05:08 am
Our baby sister Rosie says she agrees one thousand percent and that not only does the big bed belong to her and mama, but that mama’s anatomy belongs to Rosie at all times and must not be removed. In an unrelated note, our Mama seems to have a sore neck an awful lot these days.
L+G
Amelia Sherry @feedingisla
26 Aug 2012 07:08 am
HT, I would not be so quick to release daddy from his responsibilities in the big bed. It may be a bit cramped but do you not realize that he is one of the two reasons that dizzying, half-asleep rolling around in the bed doesn’t end in a hard hit to the bedroom floor? (A wall of pillows is not infallible. Trust me on this one. I’m not going to get into the specifics except to say that while the impact doesn’t leave any scars, it’s still a damaging experience on the inside.)
Plus, giving mommy the comfort of extra space ups the risk that she’ll to fall into a more relaxing REM sleep. This adds seconds or more to her reaction time when you awake in need of snack, beverage, cuddling, diaper refresh, etc.. Just sayin’ = not cool.
Jennifer
26 Aug 2012 11:08 am
Well played,lol
Ilene Sessums Pope
26 Aug 2012 03:08 pm
So TRUE!!!
Ilene Sessums Pope
26 Aug 2012 03:08 pm
I read the article, found it humorous, with the thought that is how the writer intended. But, with all being said and done at some point the earlier the better all children need to be in their own beds/rooms. This is important for their development of separation/security of self. They can always come back for comfort as needed in the night. Children are resilient! I see it every day as a Certified Pediatric Nurse, mom of 33 years plus and grandmother of 5. But, remember the husband was first and a strong adult relationship is needed to continue a healthy family unit, which supports the child… Plus, good sleep is needed for all; mom, dad, and child, siblings; less grumpy, irritable and better family relationship all around.
Streetlights94
26 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
You’re joking right? Lighten up.
Elizabeth
26 Aug 2012 08:08 pm
lol your funny!!
my family is perfectly fine with our children in our bed if we need adult time we move to the couch. And I am proud to say that at 5 my oldest has ON HER OWN started sleeping in her own bed all night. my 3 y/o has started wanting to start out the night in his bed and usually stays there until 3-5am So yeah I think i will take this badvice and flush it thank any way buh bye
Andrea
27 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
In what culture? Maybe, just maybe the westernized “every child sequestered in their own room” thing is not the only, nor the best way to do things. Also, many times, better sleep comes from security and connection, (not to mention mama not having to get up and go into the other room to nurse)! Each family should do what works for them and their children without being scolded by “professionals.”
chemimommy
28 Aug 2012 10:08 am
Actually Miss Certified Pediatric Nurse, the opposite was true for our family. Family bed meant awesome sleep for all. Daddy LOVED it because he got uninterrupted sleep from baby crying on monitor, momma lost the blurry-eyed look. That was baby #1. Baby #2 just wants to be left alone to sleep in peace. So we happily oblige. What am I saying? Every family is different and must do what works best for them. Away with the one-size-fits-all parenting, speaking of something that leaves parents grumpy and irritable!
Blondie
02 Sep 2012 07:09 am
Actually, things like bed sharing and extended breastfeeding AID in the child becoming independent in their own time…forcing a child to sleep independently, especially in their first year, increases the risk of SIDS and does not teach independance, but that their cries get them nothing. An infant is not capable of manipulation, and I doubt toddlers are very good at it, either.
I think I will ignore your ‘professional opinion’, just like I choose to ignore the backwards ‘professional opinion’ of the AAP with their mumbo jumbo about circumcision being wonderful (3/4 of the world’s males are intact with zero health issues and circumcision causes more deaths each year than SIDS and prevents nothing! But yeah, .001% of properly cared for ‘ie NOT FORCEFULLY RETRACTED males having a real necessity for circumcision is going to cost billions…HA! More like the lack of genital hacking will prevent billions coming in throughout the lifetime of this next generation by avoiding circ, corrective surgeries, anesthetic when it’s used, extra formula purchases after failed breastfeeding of circed boys who will no longer latch, all the way up to lubricants and ED meds…).
Jimmy’s mom
25 Dec 2012 02:12 pm
That’s very interesting. We had our (now 2 year-old) baby circumcised while in the hospital, and he became a different baby. He wouldn’t breastfeed any more (they had to use a special catheter to drip formula on my nipple so that he would latch on), and he cried constantly. He didn’t have any problems beforehand. We were eventually successful at breastfeeding, but it took a lot of work, and was much harder than with my daughter. Plus our pediatrician said that the doctor didn’t even take enough skin, so I have to pull back his extra skin at every diaper change to prevent adhesions. Sometimes it’s stuck, and obviously painful to him. He covers it up whenever I get near his groin. I would never, ever do that to my precious baby again, no matter my husband’s objections about “looking normal.” I’m a nurse, and generally make all medical decisions for our family, but left this one up to my husband. Bad choice.
drake
04 Sep 2012 03:09 pm
Sounds good to me, Ilene! My kids have slept in their beds since birth and both are excellent sleepers, well rounded, confident kids. There was a bad storm here last night and they both slept right through! I would argue that the “security” kids gain from co-sleeping is a false sense of security and can’t possibly come from within. I would rather instill those qualities, during the waking hours, as we teach, play, and interact with our kids. That way, they have something real to grab a hold of when they need strength to get through something difficult! I can’t possibly be by their sides all of the time, as much as I would like to. We all take our sleep VERY seriously around here, because we work hard and play hard during the day. Everything in life is about balance, and kids taking over my bed simply is not necessary or at all beneficial.
It’s also sad to me that husbands and wives don’t want more time alone together. The time my husband and I spend in bed at night reading and talking is precious to us both. We include our kids most nights for a while, then they go off to bed. Our daddy is important around here, and while the story IS funny to read, the reality of it is hard on families in a very real way. Kids are not the center of the family, rather the strong, inseperable bond between mom and dad
Col
27 Aug 2012 03:08 am
A child develops security of self when he or she first feels the security of mom and dad. That security is not found alone, crying in the night.
WriterChickNJ
27 Aug 2012 10:08 am
Amen!
Linda
31 Aug 2012 08:08 am
Our 35, 28, 27 years old still loves to climb onto our bed whenever they come to see us!
Bri
09 May 2013 09:05 pm
I’m the mother of a 31/2 yo happy, healthy, confident, and independent little boy. He has slept in his own bed his entire life. In fact he has slept in our bed a total of about 5 times and only when he was really sick. I love it this way. I stay at home with my son 7 days a week, and he has spent the night at someone else’s house only twice (and that’s been in the last couple months). That is why it is so important for me to have my own bed at night with my husband. It is the only time we have together alone as a couple. We get to connect, talk, relax, and have fun. The few times he slept with us we both got NO sleep. Also, from what I’ve read in pediatric books and told by my pediatrician that young children under the age of 2 shouldn’t sleep on soft mattresses or with excess loose blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals because it greatly increases chances of suffocation as well as SIDS.
That being said, EVERYONE should do what is best for them. I don’t judge parents on their choice because I don’t want to be judged for mine. We all do our best and make the best choices FOR OUR FAMILIES. I KNOW it would be easier to allow my son to sleep with us on occasion. When he was a baby it took extreme will, dedication and pure stubbornness on my part to keep getting up every 3 hours to feed and change him, but that was what I decided and I was going to stick to it. Parenting is a crap shoot and you never know what works until you make 10 bad choices. What is good for one child isn’t always going to work for another.
Christine@100things100days
27 Aug 2012 05:08 am
Bottom line: Nobody likes to sleep alone.
You are wise beyond your years HT. Keep crawling in!
jsmph48
27 Aug 2012 07:08 am
Great post! Stinkin’ hilarious!!!!!
Chris
27 Aug 2012 09:08 am
HT, you may be happy to know that my 17 year old daughter and 14 year old son still climb into our bed on Saturday nights for family movie night. Of course, they are much bigger than you and we don’t have the pee-pee issue anymore, but you can have years and years of big bed comfort if you play your cards right.
jaclyn @ www.lilmsadventures.blogspot.com
27 Aug 2012 10:08 am
HAHA love the idea
I think we need a cot for the daddy in our house too!!
S. Kelly
27 Aug 2012 11:08 am
If the author is serious, a psychiatrist is needed. This is an unhealthy relationship for mother and child and wife and husband. Get help before you find yourself sleeping with your kids forever without a husband. If I were your husband and received this letter I would be seeking counseling for the whole family. Bravo Ilene Sessums Pope. Finally the voice of reason.
Chris
27 Aug 2012 11:08 am
“If the author is serious…” ? Really? Are you serious? You might want to read some of the other posts in this blog so that you understand what it’s all about before you start leaving comments LOL.
M. McCollum
30 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
S. Kelly, Dr. Sears is your friend. Seek his counsel.
Heather
28 Sep 2012 04:09 pm
The author is a toddler, and not married. Pay attention.
Ava
27 Aug 2012 11:08 am
I have no children. I have no experience raising them. I do however have a sense of humour. I truly wish people could and would learn to laugh at themselves and stop with the self-righteous indignation. Ignore them all HT and keep the rest of us snorting our morning coffee thru our noses.
Chris
27 Aug 2012 11:08 am
Thank goodness. Well said, Ava.
Laura
05 Sep 2012 09:09 pm
Well said indeed!
monkey doodle head
27 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
HT – I see that you didn’t start your daddy training early enough. Too bad! You could have had him sleeping in his own big boy bed by now if you had started right away. The trick here is to train daddy to love the couch. The couch is an ideal spot for daddies to sleep. It even has it’s own big screen to lull them into sleep. (Way better than the turtle!) The secret is in “cuddles” (aka sleepy time hugs!). Just snuggle up with daddy on the couch while watching something that is really boring (for him) but that will keep you awake (Kipper works well for me!). Make sure he is lying down and has a blankie. You can give him one of your stuffed toys if you think it will help. Then just wait and watch your show. By the end you should have a nice cuddly and sleepy daddy. You can just sneak off, tuck him in and go to your spot in the big bed with mommy. Daddy will be quite safe on the couch. If you play your cards right he might even start thinking that the couch is his bed! Good luck!
- K
therese hounsell
28 Aug 2012 12:08 pm
this method worked well in our house also. daddy was sleep-trained to the futon through lots of cuddling and drooling and Discovery Channel. sure, it was rough at first, but he sleeps almost all the way through the night now and mommy, the bloodhound, and me all pile on in the big bed where there is NO FLAT SCREEN and we are all lulled to sleep by daddy’s snoring.
and i personally think (and mommy and daddy clearly side with me on this issue) that people who scold mommy and daddy for letting me sleep in the big bed have NO IDEA what they are talking about. we are quite happy with our arrangements thanks.
katese11
02 Sep 2012 12:09 pm
If you don’t train your Daddy early enough, then he’ll start to think he can outsmart you in other ways too. Now, THAT’S a slippery slope!
Kelly
27 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
HT–I feel sorry for your Daddy. We wouldn’t dream of kicking our Dad out of his own bed because he works hard so that Mommy can stay home with us. We wouldn’t want to separate Mommy and Daddy at night anyway. That time is very precious to them. We get to go to sleep in our rooms listening to Mom and Dad talk about their day and about all the cute things we did that day.
If you must sleep with your Mom and Dad don’t make out like your Dad is on the same level as the family dog.
KinTX
27 Aug 2012 11:08 pm
Hahaha! Passive-aggressive much? Really, the comments crack me up…
katese11
02 Sep 2012 11:09 am
If we had a family dog, he would definitely outrank Daddy!
katese11′s husband
02 Sep 2012 12:09 pm
Oi!!
katese11
12 Sep 2012 11:09 am
Whoops, you were NOT meant to see that
. Love you xxx
Kimberly Barnes (@Mommy4Syd)
27 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
Seriously, I LOL’ed this time.
Kay
27 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
Seriously, the comments are almost as amusing as the post itself. HILARIOUS!!
Erin Colleen
27 Aug 2012 05:08 pm
Oh my gosh; some of you commenters are taking yourselves way too seriously! Lighten up and learn to laugh. This post was awesome, and I’m pretty sure my 3-year-old wrote it (or was at least consulted by HT). Excellent! Thanks for the laughs.
maggiemoo414
27 Aug 2012 06:08 pm
LOL
Rebecca
27 Aug 2012 06:08 pm
This post and comments show me something. Do whatever is best for your family. Share bed, don’t share bed is up to each family to do what makes everyone happy and rested!
Andrea
27 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
Yes!
Laura
05 Sep 2012 09:09 pm
Absolutely! Why on earth would you chose this blog to start ranting about the rights and wrongs of this topic!? It’s just a a very funny piece of writing and should be enjoyed for that and that alone. Some people need to chill out!
Marie
27 Aug 2012 09:08 pm
Sorry mommies, if you let your child pick who he/she wanted to sleep with it wouldn’t be you. Daddy is big and warm with loud heart sounds. Your softness is great for feeding and bathing but you lose out to daddy when it comes to sleeping. Honestly , mommy who would you rather sleep next to daddy or you?
Tara
30 Aug 2012 06:08 pm
This is definitely true in our house! Daddy and toddler end up snuggling together on the sofa — mummy gets the big bed all to herself! Yeah!
Lisa McKay (@lmwriting)
28 Aug 2012 02:08 am
This was great. HT, here’s another tip, if Daddy herniates a disc in his back picking you up when you’re five months old and then walks around grinning and bearing the pain for another five months before finally realizing that he needs back surgery, then when he gets back surgery the big bed will be too soft for him to sleep in for at least two months and he’ll be safely quarantined in the guest room for 8 weeks. Minimum. Works like a charm.
Louise Otto
28 Aug 2012 06:08 am
This is so funny… this is my daughter through and through
She will be 3 in January! Love it!
Katherine @ Grass Stains
28 Aug 2012 11:08 pm
As the mom of four (9, 7, 4 and 11 months), I have to say that you ALWAYS bring a smile to my face, HT. Always. This post in particular hit my funny bone. If I might be so bold, I would like to point you in the direction of a post I published today about my 4-year-old making the double-middle-fingers gesture in my kitchen: http://katandgray.blogspot.com/2012/08/mystery-solved.html . Please enjoy … it made me think of you.
The Big Bed « The Sexless Father
29 Aug 2012 10:08 am
[...] this post from The Honest Toddler resonate a little? Why yes, it did. The Big Bed. …Daddy, this post is specifically for you as I can tell you are struggling with your place in [...]
Carla
29 Aug 2012 02:08 pm
HT, the important thing to remember is that you can’t let up for even a single night. Maybe they tire you out at the park or maybe you’re mad at them one night and want some alone time to punish them. It doesn’t matter. You need constant vigilance. My son started sleeping in his own bed and, bam, baby brother.
Elizabeth Luyben
29 Aug 2012 04:08 pm
LOVE this post!! It brings back memories (my 4th & youngest child is 14 now).
I also get a “kick” out of those who pontificate & preach about the supposed
“negative” side effects of allowing your child into your bed & the great responses.
to them I say “lighten up & MYOB”. No child has ever been “harmed’ by being
loved and nurtured too much.
E Arlene
29 Aug 2012 05:08 pm
Funny but with a touch of fact. This about has a 2-3 year old pegged. I had four in my bed over the years. All moved out before 6, except the last one and that was because we did not have a bed for her to go to. She begged for her own bed, so a twin was put into the corner until we got a room done to put it in. At 6 she definitely wanted her own space and she never once came back except to talk before going to her own room to sleep. So….don’t worry soon the big bed will have all kinds of room and when you go visiting and have to use a queen you will feel crowded.
Our Life Right Now: Big Bed « A Naptime Novelist
29 Aug 2012 07:08 pm
[...] I’m not sure, but I think my son is the Honest Toddler. [...]
Monique
30 Aug 2012 01:08 am
I agree that these comments are as hilarious as the post! I LOVE the HT blog – so right on the mark for toddlers & their thoughts. To each their own, we share a bed when my daughter is unwell and really wants/needs it – then she’s happy to go back to her own bed when she’s well. Like someone else said, no one was ever harmed by getting too much love!! To each their own
Sarah Jane
30 Aug 2012 03:08 pm
Love your blog, HT. When my oldest was a toddler, we used to make her daddy sleep on the floor. Tee-hee. That way he was still close in case we needed him to get us something! He didn’t seem to mind.
So many things to love
31 Aug 2012 08:08 am
I’m preeeeeety sure someone invented door locks to keep out bears, not toddlers. And if you just drench yourself in some pee, that solves the bear issue anyway. Yay, we ALL WIN!
The-Marnray
31 Aug 2012 10:08 am
Lovely blog. Here’s an award!
http://betterwithpen.wordpress.com/2012/08/31/time-for-virtual-party-hats-v5-one-lovely-blog-nomination/
Keep up the great work.
K
31 Aug 2012 11:08 am
I am not sure that this blog is meant for you. Clearly, you don’t get it.
Move along, nothing to see here…
K
31 Aug 2012 11:08 am
D’oh, my comment was intended for “Gamma”.
Kristen
31 Aug 2012 01:08 pm
I know this article was meant to be funny and it certainly is, but I think the article and the comments have pointed out a trend that is disturbing to me. Our children should not come before our hard working spouses and it is okay for kids to cry sometimes especially if they are over one year of age and you are sure they are safe and not ill. Life is not about making kids happy. My children sleep happily in their own beds. If my youngest gets scared in the middle of the night, I lay down at the end of his bed. My kids don’t even know our bed is an option. It never has and never will be.
Danielle
01 Sep 2012 01:09 am
Kristen, good for you!! Do you think every family in the world should be like yours? Not being snarky- just an honest question.
Kristen
01 Sep 2012 11:09 am
No, of course not. If your spouse is very happy with having a family bed then that is certainly your family’s choice to make. My husband was not on board at all with that idea so our choice works for our family. I have to laugh at how everything comes in trends. Dr. Sears is not new. I picked up his book seven years ago when my oldest was a baby. I read a few chapters and said “Wow, this guy is a nut.”…hahaha…and now he is the new baby guru. In seven more years who knows what people will be doing with their babies, but I guarantee the new moms now will think it is weird. You have to do what works for you, but I don’t think anyone disagrees that children do need discipline and they do need to learn to be independent.
lucy
03 Sep 2012 01:09 am
Dr. Sears and his books have been around a lot longer than that. A lot longer. I was reading them in the 1990′s.
. And his loving ideas are going strong! Obviously 
MEinTX
04 Sep 2012 01:09 pm
Ummm…the idea of the family bed has been around since, well, at least since Bible times? Multi-generational households? One “sleeping room”? I hardly think that most babies had their own room/bed back then…it’s not necessarily what you do at night that creates independence or ensures discipline.
Karen
04 Sep 2012 03:09 pm
Children don’t need discipline…they need guidance and love…parenting is soooooo easy when you remember that!
Ugh
12 Sep 2012 11:09 am
OMG there is so much wrong with this comment I don’t even know where to start
Comadrona
10 Sep 2012 12:09 am
I was reading Dr Sears in the 80s and – guess what – he was right. All my kids were allowed to sleep in our bed and breast-feed for as long as they wished. The are now all adults – happy, independent, compassionate. They all made it into their own beds by about the age of three (at their instigation) and everyone was happy. Honestly, if we just let the babies initiate their moves towards independence, it hurts no-one. I had to laugh at a previous commenter who assumes that everyone in the world has the luxury of separate rooms or even separate beds for their children. The majority of the world’s population are lucky to have one room – there is no such thing as crying it out or abandonment of young children by parents at night-time. And, funnily enough, my observation of babies raised in these traditional societies is that they hardly ever cry. They are not spoiled, they often have to do hard work to help support the family and they have hardly any playthings. They are also far more “independent” at a very early age than Western kids generally are. These comments against bed-sharing just don’t hold water!
Jen
31 Aug 2012 02:08 pm
Oh HT you are too much! Our Daddy is in the guest room. He’s welcome in our bed, but prefers the guest room
He waits till we are asleep and then sneaks off and sneaks back in the morning, so we don’t miss him too much. This morning he came back just in time to get covered in pee! We had a good laugh about it and then got ready for work/school. Last saturday he came back just in time to be puked on. And, of course, all pee/puke accidents happened on freshly laundered sheets. Just our luck I guess! LOL. Still our HT is just a little guy and so cute and sooo sweet and sleeps wonderfully. We don’t care one bit. Pee/puke happens.
21stcenturycrazyteacher
01 Sep 2012 07:09 am
I have no children of my own so I can’t relate to your blog in that way, BUT… I still find it absolutely hilarious! I was chuckling out-loud to myself all the way through!
Weekend Reading » Simply Thorough Mama
01 Sep 2012 03:09 pm
[...] The Honest Toddler: The Big Bed: Daddy, this post is specifically for you as I can tell you are struggling with your place in this [...]
Streetlights94
02 Sep 2012 11:09 pm
Moms who think they can raise other people’s kids are insane. You’re a champ, Honest Toddler. You sound happy, healthy and more functional to me then any other kid who might have a family bed, his own crib, is still in a cradle, in a sleeping bag, on a cot, or who sleeps in a tree.
If people did have as good a job raising their own kids as they do preaching about raising other people’s, we wouldn’t have all the weirdos out there.
Stacey
03 Sep 2012 12:09 am
I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. Thank you! Still struggling to get my daughter to stay in her own bed and she’s 7.
J&C (shh – using mommy’s computer)
03 Sep 2012 03:09 am
What you said – mine are 6 and 4.
crafty dawn
03 Sep 2012 09:09 am
I have to comment on this post. Loved it.
We also had some fun mornings with kids in the bed playing making tents etcetera. We never encourage them in to our bed but if they need it, it was freely given. As a joke our boys now in their twenties and late teens still come in the room and jump on the bed and we all lay there and then talk about our day (this is rare I hasten to add) But when a baby/toddler needs their mum they get their mum. Love the comment about blood and contractual arrangement that’s so funny. Thank you for the laugh and the memories ;0)
Jess
04 Sep 2012 12:09 am
This is incredibly funny. I can’t believe I haven’t known about honest toddler sooner. Jx
11 Months! | The Gilliam Family
04 Sep 2012 07:09 am
[...] Sleeping: Naps are still going well. Nights could be better. Between the teething and strep throat, I guess I should be lucky he sleeps at all. I think Collin guest posted on Honest Toddler about it. [...]
Chris
04 Sep 2012 04:09 pm
Do y’all realize that this blog is written by a creative genius trying to make us laugh and NOT by an expert child psychologist?
Just wondering if some of you “get it”.
Yael
08 Sep 2012 02:09 pm
Thanks for pointing that out Captain Obvious!
Justine
04 Sep 2012 05:09 pm
I can not believe I only just found this blog…it truly makes me want to take my blog down as this is far superior!
Char-Min Creller
12 Sep 2012 11:09 am
Great blog. My kid is nine, somewhere along the way, and with the home invasions of Munsch’s “Love You, Forever” as inspitration, my son decided dadaman could go to HIS mom’s bed whenever he didn’t want to sleep with us. He wouldn’t even need a ladder since we had a Key!
Heather
17 Sep 2012 01:09 pm
In our house daddy has his own room
That means me and the sibling infant *can’t we just send her back* get to sleep with mommy. Of course mommy tends to sneak out and go to daddy’s room for special time hugs 
I don’t always wake up to get between. *I swear if there are anymore infant siblings I am going to live with Nana at least she understands I need all the attention*
Martha McGlynn
17 Sep 2012 02:09 pm
I want to add that I find this blog hilarious-my 25-yr sortof-HT told me about it! Said 25-yr-old & 22-yr-old are fine people, and we did what WE felt worked for our family (& no, I’m not going to say!). Could I just add-this is meant as a joke, people-not a expert opinion! If you want those, go to the bookstore/library/internet-you can find enough conflicting info there to scare yourself to pee-pee regarding your parenting skills!
vkrn
05 Oct 2012 11:10 pm
Hi, HT — I think you’ve met your match here:
http://bit.ly/VtILGK
It’s some 4 year old at a blog at babble.com who thinks she can best you.
(And she’s not paying me to say that.)
Big bed | Peanut Butter Spoonfuls
19 Nov 2012 09:11 am
[...] If you want to read more about what this means, I suggest you check out Honest Toddler’s post about the Big Bed. [...]
Weekend Links 11/30/12 « Nearly Missed It
30 Nov 2012 07:11 pm
[...] Big Bed by Honest Toddler [...]
Miranda
06 Dec 2012 12:12 pm
Love this. And find it hilarious that some people think they know what’s best for you, HT, even though they’re not your parents.
Sure, there’s research to back up bed sharing, and there’s”research” to back up a crib in a separate room, but isn’t that the parents’ job to decide, not some “expert”? As long as there is no imminent danger, it’s nobody else’s business!
10 Parent Blogs to Follow in 2013 – Family Life Hong Kong
18 Jan 2013 04:01 am
[...] twos and the even more difficult threes while putting a fresh spin on topics like why your toddler prefers mom. A must read? Check out Yelp Review: [...]
Grammy Norma
27 Feb 2013 12:02 pm
I can understand all the points of view pro and con c-sleeping, but as an empty nester, when my hubby goes out of town, I ADORE sleeping alone! I sleep way better – no kicking, no snoring, I can helicopter if I want without feeling bad. Sorry, but sleeping alone is wonderful!
Our Muddy Boots
10 Mar 2013 02:03 am
As I look over my two sleeping children and see my husband’s bum and head as the only two things seemingly touching the bed, I think this might be an appealing option!
Awesome post! I love it!
Missy
11 Mar 2013 12:03 am
Sleeping with your children is completely natural and loving. Sometimes I feel bad for people who are so against great things.. clearly they didnt get the love and support and nurturing they needed as a child.
Our Life Right Now: Big Bed
27 Apr 2013 09:04 pm
[...] I’m not sure, but I think my son is the Honest Toddler. [...]
Cheri
23 May 2013 06:05 pm
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