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29 Jan 2013
Dear Juice CEO
Dear Juice CEO, First, congrats on an excellent product. I’m doing a slow clap right now that is getting faster by the second. Now I’m standing up and clapping at an even quicker pace. You…
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28 Jan 2013
Guest Post: Real Actual Doctor
This post is for Adults. If you spend half your paycheck on Omega 3s, keep reading. Today’s post is by a guest: a real actual doctor with glasses just like the title says. This doctor…
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7 Jan 2013
The Nap Window
This post is for TO (Toddlers Only). If you have unsavory and disturbing hair on your body that you weren’t born with or don’t get so excited about chewy granola bars that you instinctively start…
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27 Dec 2012
Updates
Hi. If you are on Twitter or Facebook in my direction you know that Christmas was a huge success. Much like my grandma, Santa was able to look beyond my actions and slightly to the…
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9 Nov 2012
How To Get Kicked Out of Preschool
I’ve heard the same story over and over. Kid is having the best day ever wearing new clothes and new shoes visiting what they think is some kind of fancy orphanage when BAM they look…
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18 Oct 2012
Rudolph
Hi Rudolph, How are you? I know I’ve never reached out to you before but I just wanted to say that I think being different is wonderful. I’ve been learning about you, Rudolph. That thing…
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9 Oct 2012
You Look Prettier When You Smile
Dear mama, It’s not your birthday but this poem is for you. It’s just something to think about. Nobody’s perfect. love, your HT You Look Prettier When You Smile Thanks for coming last night It’s…
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27 Sep 2012
Books
Books are wonderful entertainment, gum, and weapons. Many parents read whole stories and don’t skip pages but I wouldn’t know anything about that. Being a scholar, I love books. When you’re done texting take a…
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23 Sep 2012
Adult Recipes
Last night I suffered a nightmare. I dreamt that candy corn crops around the world had simultaneously failed and farmers were forced to plant onions in their place. Halloween, as you can imagine, smelled terrible….
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17 Sep 2012
Broken
Adults. This post is for you so please put down the cup you’re rinsing and try to focus. Since you’re the president of the world and need to check your cell phone screen often for…
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The Book is Here!
