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15 Jun 2012
Dear Police
Dear Police, Quick Note: This is to the real police, not the Naughty Police who have been fed lies about my behavior. Dear Real Police, I would like to file a restraining order against the…
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14 Jun 2012
Up
Hi mama. Thank you for all of the attention last night. My blanket was really acting crazy!! Next time when you get tired of looking at my face please just let me know. Sending daddy…
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12 Jun 2012
Love
To: Mommy From: Sweet Baby AKA Angel Face AKA a helpless child Subject: Last night… Hi. I just have a quick question- I know we have a busy day ahead of me watching you do…
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8 Jun 2012
Pinterest
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8 Jun 2012
Potty Training
Yesterday mother and I were playing a game called “Try to Get Pants on Me” when she suddenly sneezed. I knew by the defeated look on her face that it had happened again. While I’ve…
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7 Jun 2012
One Year Olds
I don’t like them. I’m not scared of many things but this demographic of unpredictable bobble heads with too much mobility for their own good causes me to break out in a sweat every time….
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7 Jun 2012
Being Good
WOW! I just want to say that I slept wonderfully last night. Woke up once crying, mom walked in and said “Nuh uh, can’t do this again,” scooped me up and brought me in the…
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6 Jun 2012
Press Release
Contact: Rosemary Smith, Chucky Allen FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Tel: 415-555-6294 Email: pottylol@toddlerevents.com 34TH ANNUAL TODDLER UNIFICATION Conference ORLANDO, FLORIDA AUGUST 10-11, 2012 sponsored by Band-Aid The Toddler Council of Tremendous Praise would like to formally…
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6 Jun 2012
I’m Sorry
Look mom. I can tell from the way you haven’t looked me in the eye since fetching me from my crib well before dawn that you’re upset about last night. Waking up every 45 minutes…
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5 Jun 2012
Playdate Food
I’ve spoken about playdate food before. I like to think of myself as the Anthony Bourdain of the topic. My mother prefers to spend afternoons in bed watching me play out of the corner of…
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The Book is Here!
